Always Together
by J. Riley
Summary: Liam and Niall have always been together. They're madly in love, but there's one problem: Niall has a heart problem, and there's only so many times someone's heart can stop before they can't get back up again. (Trigger warnings for character death.) Pairing: Niam Fandom: One Direction


**_A/n: _**_Hi guys. It's been a while, hasn't it? I posted this about a year and a half ago, when I first wrote it, because it was doing well on ao3 and I thought I'd share it here but someone left me a message saying that if I "didn't remove it myself it would be removed for me and my account would be deleted." Considering I hadn't even been on this account in almost a year, I don't think I care anymore. So if this gets deleted, or if I get removed from , so be it. At least you've all seen it, right? _

_Anyway, this fic was literally my life for the three months it took me to write it. At the time I wrote it it was the longest story I'd ever written and I was so proud of it. I still am. It's been my baby ever since I wrote it so please be kind. Thaaaaanks. _

* * *

Liam and Niall have always been together. They're two of a kind, get along great, and rarely argue. Ever since they were eight-years-old, when Niall first moved to England from Ireland, the two have been almost inseparable. Liam is the adult figure that Niall's been craving for most of his life.

Niall's father died when he was young, and his mother finally broke and had to get away from all the memories in Ireland. They moved to England, and happened to buy a house right next door to Liam's; ever since then they've been neighbors, and Liam was the first person to ever talk to Niall first.

They were twelve-years-old when they found out Niall had a heart condition. They had been playing at the park with Liam's mother, Karen, watching them when Niall felt a bit tired. He told Liam he was going to go sit down, and when they reached the bench Liam's mum was sitting at, he collapsed. He hit the ground hard, nothing being able to stop his fall, and Liam couldn't get him to wake up. Karen quickly called the ambulance in a panic. Both Liam and Karen had been allowed to come along in the ambulance, to avoid Niall having to go alone, and to avoid Liam being left at the park, and that's when Niall's heart just flat out stopped. The paramedics shocked him back to life, which was the scariest thing Liam had ever had to see in his life up to that point.

It had taken a few weeks, but Niall was up and running again. Liam felt more protective of him after that; there was something about knowing that Niall could die again at any time that just threw him off balance a little. Niall knew that Liam had seen him die, knew just how it had messed with Liam's head a little, so he hung out with Liam every chance he got—spent the night every Friday night and stayed until Sunday evening, went home with Liam every weekday; over the summer he spent the night nearly every other night and when he couldn't Liam would come over.

They were closer than most kids, and their parents could tell. Liam was always around Niall, almost always had an arm around the younger boy. He was just a bit more protective than what could be called 'normal'. Liam spent so much time worrying about Niall that he turned down every girl who asked to go on a date with him. Karen didn't quite understand it at first, but she'd learn.

It got bad enough that Karen contacted Niall's mum, Maura, to express her concerns. Karen agreed to talk to Liam about his slightly obsessive clinginess, while Maura talked to Niall about how close they were—asked if Liam was "smothering" him, maybe. Neither boy thought their friendship was strange, and Niall really didn't mind that Liam didn't want him out of his sight for any longer than what was necessary.

For about a year and a half Niall seemed fine. He was healthy, for the most part, aside from a few episodes with his blood pressure and his blood sugar. On Niall's fifteenth birthday, he invited some extra friends from school to the party—he wasn't particularly close to them, at least not like he was with Liam, but it counted—but he had stuck to Liam's side like they were made of glue. Karen found it odd that Liam was still this attached to Niall, but she just supposed that he was still having a hard time with the image of Niall's body jumping as the paramedics shocked his heart back into rhythm.

Niall was still fine for about a month after his birthday. And then, one day—a Tuesday in December, Liam remembered—Niall fell again. He'd slipped on some ice and had the wind knocked out of him, but when Liam helped him stand back up he looked pale and felt sick and shaky.

"Ni? You all right?" Liam asked, a hand on Niall's shoulder. Niall's body swayed for a moment, and he met Liam's eyes.

Niall looked so scared. "Li," he said, voice trembling, "call the ambulance." And then he fell. His knees gave out and Liam barely managed to catch him so he didn't just slam on the ground. He looked over to Zayn—the new kid they'd been hanging out with—and Zayn pulled out his cellphone, quickly phoning for an ambulance.

Liam rode in the back with Niall, holding his hand and praying to God that he didn't die again. Zayn had quickly offered to stay behind and call Maura to let her know Niall was on his way to the hospital and said that he'd catch up to them later.

Niall was lying unconscious on his hospital bed when he flat lined. Liam could only watch in horror as the doctor shocked Niall once—bee~p—twice—bee~p—three times and still got nothing. Liam broke, screaming before he could control himself.

"No! You do it again! You're supposed to be life savers! Please, don't let him die! Please!"

The doctor shook his head, but charged and pressed the defibrillator to Niall's chest again. Beep, beep, beep.

Liam prayed all night long with tears streaming down his cheeks, thanking whoever was above for saving Niall. He'd never been so happy in his life.

"You died again," Liam said three days later when Niall woke up.

The younger boy was sitting up in bed. He looked wore out even though he'd been asleep for three days—but then again, his heart had failed him again, and he'd been shocked, and that couldn't have felt too good.

He looked over at Liam, guilty and apologetic. "Did I really?"

"It wasn't your fault though," Liam said. He knew that he also probably looked tired; he'd been too afraid that Niall's heart would give again to sleep.

Niall looked down at his hands, folded in his lap above the hospital blankets. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I keep putting you through this…"

"No," Liam shook his head. "Don't apologize. It's not your fault that you have a bad heart."

Niall only shook his head, sliding down on the bed. "I hurt so much," he said, pulling the blankets up to his chin. "I'm so tired, too…"

"Then sleep, honey," Liam said gently.

So Niall slept.

"How many times do you think someone can die before they can't get back up?" Niall asked his mum one day, a few weeks after he'd been released from the hospital.

Maura stopped washing the dishes to look at him. "Niall," she said, voice strained. She looked upset at the question; she could hardly deal with Niall's first accident, let alone this time. "Why are you asking that?"

Niall shrugged. "I was just wondering 'cause… Well, y'know."

Maura turned back to the dishes, trying to keep her hands steady. "I don't know, Niall. I just don't know."

Three years later, and Niall was still fine—he hadn't even had any problems with his blood pressure. Liam was still all about Niall, even though they'd met two boys since then—a twenty-year-old named Louis and a seventeen-year-old named Harry. They'd all become a little group, including Zayn, who hadn't left despite what happened to Niall, and the Irish boy was definitely happy with his life. He and Liam lived together in a house that was conveniently located close to Louis' house and Harry's apartment. Zayn lived somewhere farther out from town, but he stayed at Louis' or Harry's quite often.

Niall's nineteenth birthday was coming up. Liam was busy planning a birthday party at a local club; Louis was occupied with buying presents, as was Harry. They all had the day off; it was a Saturday, so they usually did. Liam came back home after an hour at the club, looking aggravated.

"What's wrong, Li?" Niall asked when he walked through the door. Harry and Louis were there, throwing a hacky sack back and forth in the living room.

Liam sighed loudly. "We can only get the DJ for an hour," he said. "Sorry, Nialler."

"Hey, it's fine. I don't really need a party anyway."

Liam started to argue, but then Louis piped in. "We can just order hookers for everybody."

Liam stiffened. "No," he said. "No hookers."

"I quite like the idea," Harry said.

"You're also seventeen," Liam pointed out. "I don't want to risk disease. Plus there's better things to do than fuck whores."

Niall's eyes widened; Liam never cursed. Ever. He held a hand up, as though trying to keep Liam from getting angry or something. "Okay, no hookers," he said. "Maybe we can just go out for dinner or something. Give the waitresses hell."

"That's also good," Louis said, his tone careful. He was just as confused as Niall over the outburst. "I like that idea too."

Harry sensed the tension before Liam could. "So," he said, "I still need to get some more gifts. Lou?" He looked at the older boy.

"I'm good?" Now Louis was confused at him.

"I can't drive." Harry gave him a blank look. Louis stood up then, waving goodbye to Liam and giving Niall a playful shove. When the younger boy went to complain, Louis laughed. "Man up, sweet cheeks," he said, giving him a teasing grin.

"See ya, Lou," Niall said, smiling at him.

"See ya, honey."

"See ya, Li," Harry said to Liam. He patted Niall on the shoulder. "Later, Nialler."

"See ya."

Louis pressed in close to Liam as he walked by, close enough to whisper in his ear. "Didn't mean to offend you. We good?"

"We're great," Liam assured him with a smile. "Sorry about that."

"Don't be." Louis smiled at him. "Bye, Li. Bye, Niall!"

Once they were alone, Niall leaned against the counter. "Anything you're not telling me?"

Liam raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean? I just don't want hookers in this house."

"That's not what I mean," Niall said. "I mean… We've been friends since forever. You're my very best mate. I know that you're more protective of me because of what's happened in the past, but… It's been three years, almost four. I've been fine. It's not like I'm gonna break."

"You could," Liam interrupted.

"Can't I have one day where you don't worry so much about me?" Niall bit his lip. "I appreciate it, don't get me wrong. I love you, and I care about you, too. Just…"

'I love you.' Liam's heart did a flip in his chest, but he made himself stay calm. Niall just loved him as a friend, nothing more. "Do you really want to fuck a whore?"

Niall flinched. Liam had said 'fuck' again. "I never said I wanted to," he said. "I just… I don't know. Never mind, yeah?"

Liam didn't press him to continue. He just waited patiently for Niall to finish whatever he wanted to say. And Niall finally spoke again.

"Why do you care so much about me?" His voice was so quiet that Liam almost didn't hear him. "It can't be just because of my heart problems."

"You're Niall," Liam answered simply. "I love you more than anyone else. Do I need a reason?"

"A reason would make it make more sense," Niall said with a grin. "But I love you, too."

Liam offered to be designated driver for the night, but he kept a close eye on how much Niall drank. The younger man had a blast, it seemed, but refrained from grinding against anybody—in fact, he'd stuck near Liam most of the time, singing along to the words comically loud and awful when he'd gotten a little tipsy. He leaned against Liam for support when they got back to the van, all of them stumbling to get in their seats properly.

Louis let out a loud groan when he cracked his head off the ceiling of the van when he tried to stand up to maneuver himself around differently. "I thought this van was taller," he whined, rubbing at his head.

Zayn cackled, falling over to the side in the very back row of seats. He rolled onto his back so he was balanced comfortably with his feet against the left window and his head propped up against the right window. He crossed his arms over his chest and sighed. "I don't know about you lot," he said, "but I'm going to sleep. Drinking makes me tired."

"You can stay at my place," Louis offered, twisting his head around in a way that was more work than was needed, but he was drunk, damn it, and he didn't really know what he was doing.

"Thanks." And then Zayn was snoring. It was the quickest Liam had ever heard anyone fall asleep—faster than Niall, even.

Niall was seated in the passenger seat beside Liam, humming to himself as he stared out the windshield. Liam reached over, placing a hand on his thigh and patted. "So how was your birthday?"

"Amazing," Niall said, looking over and flashing Liam a smile so bright that the older boy thought for sure his heart would break. He forced himself to focus back on the road before he wrecked and killed them all.

"You were glued to Liam's side the whole time," Harry said, his speech slurred from the alcohol.

Niall seemed to blush. "I've never been to a club before," he said, defensively. "And besides, you were hooked to Louis the whole time."

Louis gave Harry a look that seemed to say, "It's true," and the youngest boy just slumped back in his seat with a shrug.

Once all the boys were dropped off—Zayn and Harry had both decided to stay at Louis' place—Niall and Liam went back home. Liam helped the younger boy in through the front door, one arm wrapped around his waist and the other over Niall's shoulder, keeping him steady. Niall stumbled a little, giggling. He reached over and patted Liam on the chest.

"Thanks, babe," he said. "This has been a great birthday. Thanks for not letting me get too drunk, too."

Babe. Niall just called Liam 'babe'. Holy shit. "No problem," Liam managed to stutter out. "Couldn't let you get sick or anything, you know. It isyour birthday."

"You're the greatest." Niall flopped onto the couch gracelessly, having refused Liam's hand when he tried to help him sit down. The couch rocked up a bit, but quickly settled back into place—the small man wasn't enough to completely overturn the couch. Niall rubbed his forehead. "You know," he said, suddenly sounding serious, "since I'm a little tipsy, I think I want to tell you something. Uh… sit down before I lose my nerve."

Liam sat down in the chair across from the couch, giving Niall an expectant look, waiting for him to continue. The younger boy swallowed thickly for a moment. "I…" he started, and then shut his mouth to think. "When your mind's all cloudy it's hard to think," he mumbled, laughing softly.

"Take your time," Liam murmured.

"I want you to know that I—Shit, Li. I like you, okay." Niall looked at him with huge eyes, and even though he was a bit drunk, he still looked so fearful, as though he expected Liam to reject him or something. It was sudden, this confession—normally there's things that lead on to these things, right? Not this time.

Liam's eyes flickered a little, and he couldn't help the grin that twitched on his lip. It was brief, though. "I like you, too," he said, a bit too calmly for Niall's liking.

"No," Niall hissed, "I like you. Don't you get it? The only reason why I said no to all those girls that have asked me out over the years is because of you. The way you cared about me so much… I thought there was something…" His eyes widened even more and he shook his head. "Oh, shit!" he gasped. "You don't—All this time—It's just been—Oh, I'm so sorry, Li! I didn't—Oh fuck!" He scrambled to get off the couch, trying to rush into the bedroom, but he was still too tipsy to walk properly and ended up falling against the wall.

Liam was quick to jump up, rushing to his side, wrapping both of his arms around Niall. He pressed a kiss to Niall's forehead, ignoring his weak struggling—being drunk didn't leave you very good to defend yourself, really (not that Niall was being attacked)—and pressing his lips to Niall's ear.

"No," he whispered to the younger boy. "Do you really like me, or is this just the alcohol talking?"

Niall finally went limp in Liam's arms, panting. "It's real," he mumbled, his voice slightly muffled by Liam's shoulder. "I just… God, Liam, do you realize how long I've…" Niall trailed off again, unable to complete his sentences. He tilted his head enough to look at Liam, their eyes locked for what felt like forever.

And then Liam was leaning in, his lips getting dangerously close to Niall's. He knew that he shouldn't be doing this; Niall was drunk, it was probably just the alcohol talking or something. But he couldn't help it. He'd wanted to kiss Niall for so long that he couldn't even bring himself to care that the morning might bring something else—something worse, like Niall regretting everything or not remembering. Or maybe it'd be awkward and their friendship could be over before they knew it.

Then their lips connected, lightly, just barely a brush of lips, and Niall sucked in a deep breath through his nose, his eyes widening. Liam pulled away after a brief moment, feeling happier than ever before, and looked Niall in the eye. The younger boy's cheeks were colored in a blush, and then he was whispering.

"Kiss me again."

So Liam did. This time their lips met in a kiss that was firmer than before, and Niall's hands were coming up behind Liam's back to get a grip on his shirt. Liam ran his hands down Niall's sides, coming to rest at his hips, and his tongue swept out to lick across the seam of Niall's lips. The younger boy whimpered, his fingers tightening on the back of Liam's shirt, and he parted his lips, allowing Liam to slip his tongue inside.

Niall felt his knees go weak at the feeling of Liam's tongue sliding against his own, and he was glad that Liam wrapped an arm around his back to keep him from falling. Liam raised a hand to hold Niall's face, tilting his head back to the right angle so their kiss could become even more intimate.

After a moment they separated, both of them panting slightly. Niall's cheeks were covered in a blush and his pupils were so huge that it looked like he didn't even have the blue irises anymore.

Liam felt that familiar burning in the pit of his stomach—that same feeling he'd always got when they were fifteen and he first realized he liked Niall; the feeling he got every time Niall would sleep beside him, snoring softly, snuggled up against him—again, too close for "just friends" but by the morning they would have moved so much in their sleep that they weren't anywhere close to snuggling (sometimes Liam woke up to a half-empty bed, with Niall's upper body on the floor while his legs still laid on the mattress). It almost hurt, how bad Liam felt it this time, and he knew he could get rid of it—but he wouldn't. He wouldn't take advantage of Niall while the younger boy was drunk.

He stroked Niall's cheek for a moment. Niall had brought his hands from Liam's back and was now teasing lightly at the older boy's belly, his fingers trembling slightly. Liam reached down and entangled their fingers together.

"Well, now that we've got that off our chests," he said, voice sounding strange. "Let's watch a movie, yeah?"

"What?" Niall asked, his voice shaky. "We were just…?"

"We were just kissing, yes," Liam said with a grin. "But that's enough for tonight, don't you think?"

"What?" Niall looked confused and—hurt. Liam was rejecting him? Really? "I don't understand, Li…"

"Kissing is enough for me right now," Liam said gently.

"You mean you don't want to…?"

"You're drunk," Liam said, his voice a bit more firm. "I'm not taking advantage of you. If you're still sure tomorrow, when you're sober, that you want me, then we'll talk about it. But for now, we'll just watch a movie."

Niall still looked confused, but the promise of 'If you're still sure' made the hurt expression fade a little. He let Liam lead him back to the sofa. Niall sat down on one end of the couch while Liam searched for the remote for a moment, tossing the pillows around until he finally found it stuck up underneath the bottom. He sat down on the other side, leaving the empty middle cushion as the space between them. Niall made a sound, looking to the floor.

Liam realized just how much this was hurting Niall, which seemed odd to him. He smiled at the younger boy, holding an arm out and motioning with his hand for Niall to scoot closer. So Niall did; he scooted all the way over until he was snuggled up comfortably into Liam's side, his arms wrapped tightly around the brunette, and he made a pleased sound. Liam placed a hand on Niall's side, flicking on the television and searching through their DVR for one of their favorite movies.

Neither really paid attention to it, though; Niall was too busy pressing kisses to Liam's chest through his shirt, and Liam was too busy stroking Niall's side absentmindedly to really see the film. Eventually they were both asleep, snuggled together, happy.

The next morning Zayn came stumbling in, uninvited really, still a little drunk. Liam and Niall weren't awake yet, and the television was now turned off. Zayn leaned against the kitchen counter, looking off into the living room at the couch where the two were still sleeping. Liam had to be uncomfortable; his neck was leaned back, twisted at an odd angle, and Zayn knew his arms were surely asleep with the way Niall was laying on them. Niall looked pretty comfortable, though.

Stifling a giggle, Zayn shouted suddenly, almost a loud barking, causing both boys to jerk awake. Liam's eyes were wide for just a brief moment, and then he was slamming them shut again as the sun hit his eyes. He groaned when Niall sat up, rubbing at his arms.

"You okay?" Niall asked. "I didn't mean to fall asleep on you."

"I'll be fine," Liam said, grinning at Niall almost shyly. He looked over to Zayn. "You doin' okay, Z?"

"Kinda wrecked right now, actually," Zayn mumbled. "Hung over, I believe."

"How're Hazza and Lou?"

"Last I saw them Harry was curled up in the fetal position in Lou's bed, and Lou was groaning on the couch." Zayn's lips twitched up in a smile—he truly loved those two, and they all knew he did. He was closest to Louis out of everyone.

"Leave it to those two to get so hammered," Liam muttered light-heartedly. He looked to Niall again. "What about you, Ni?"

"Feelin' pretty good," Niall said, sticking his lower lip out thoughtfully and nodding his head. "Thanks for not letting me drink all that I saw."

Liam just shook his head, smiling at him and stood up. So far neither of them had hinted that they remembered what had happened the night before—though Liam still remembered clearly and his heart hammered in his chest every time he looked at Niall.

Zayn eventually left to go back to Louis' place, promising to text when he got there to let them know that he'd made it back all right. Niall made himself a cup of tea while Liam went to the bedroom to change his clothes—he had a thing about wearing the same shirt and pants and boxers for more than daytime, really—and when he came back from changing, Niall was sitting on the couch, staring out the living room window thoughtfully.

"What are you thinking about?" Liam asked, taking a seat in the lounge chair.

Niall looked over at him. "You… You wouldn't happen to remember what happened last night, would you?"

Liam swallowed. "Of course I remember," he said.

Niall's eyes lit up a bit with hope. "And it doesn't bother you?"

"Of course not," Liam said, shaking his head. "I mean, I kissed you."

"Yeah," Niall said. "But like… Would you, y'know, want to do it again? Kiss me, I mean."

"If you wanted me to kiss you again, I would," Liam said quietly. His heart was hammering again, even though this wasn't a very intense conversation, but damn it, he was in love with Niall.

Niall bit his lip, looking at Liam shyly. "This could screw everything up," he said softly.

"I know," Liam said. "It could, but we don't have to let it." He wanted to sweep Niall up into his arms and just kiss him senseless, but he stayed seated, just watching Niall.

After several tense minutes, Niall finally spoke. "Would you want to, y'know… try being with me?"

"I'd love to." Liam smiled warmly at Niall, feeling his heart skip a beat again when the younger boy's face broke out into a smile of its own.

They went steady, taking everything nice and slow since Niall was still—obviously—a virgin and Liam wanted to make sure he understood everything before he tried something on the younger boy. Niall insisted that Liam take control of things, telling him that he wanted Liam to tell him what to do, make him do things.

But Liam was a gentle guy and refused.

The first time he gave Niall a hand job, he made sure he did everything that he himself liked, and Niall came quickly, spilling into Liam's hand with a cry. Liam petted him on the head teasingly afterward, asking him if he still felt all right with him.

And Niall did. He felt better than all right, actually. He loved being with Liam; they were closer now than what they had been before, if that was even possible, and both of them felt like they were drowning in the feeling of being this close.

They told Louis first, and then Harry and Zayn. All three of them seemed completely okay with it, and Harry and Louis admitted that they had also been in a relationship for a good three months by then. Zayn had only shrugged when the eyes turned to his, mumbling that relationships just really weren't his thing.

As time wore on, and Niall's confidence grew, Liam finally allowed Niall to give his first blow job. It happened at about 11:30 one night, after they had snogged on the bed for a good while, tangled together on their sides, until both of their lips were swollen and red.

Niall had snuck his hand between them, placing his palm firmly on Liam's crotch. The older boy was already hard, straining in his trousers. Liam broke their kiss, his eyes closed as he groaned at the contact. Niall unbuttoned Liam's jeans, pulling the zipper down slowly. When Liam finally opened his eyes again, he found Niall staring at him intently.

Niall sat up suddenly, hooking his fingers into the waistband, yanking down on the material. Liam raised his hips, reaching down to help Niall removed his clothing. He looked at the younger boy, expecting him to wrap his fingers around his length (which was now standing out from his body fully erect).

Instead, Niall leaned his head down, his warm breath puffing against the head. Liam's mind went blank for a moment, but he managed to reach down and stop Niall from doing anything else.

"Whoa," he breathed, "what do you think you're doin', babe?"

Niall's lips twitched in a grin. "I was planning on using my mouth this time," he said, his voice calm.

"Are you sure?" Liam asked after a moment, staring Niall in the eye. He held Niall's chin in one hand, not allowing him to break the eye contact.

"I'm sure," Niall said. "Now let me get on with it, yeah? I really wanna do this." Without allowing Liam to distract him any further, he pressed the flat of his tongue to the head of Liam's cock. Liam groaned at the sensation, threading his fingers through Niall's hair.

The younger boy had never done this before, so when he wrapped his lips tightly around the tip he almost gagged at the taste of Liam's pre-cum. He had to squeeze his eyes shut tight so he could just focus on making Liam feel good. After a moment, he bobbed his head down as far as he could without gagging. His teeth accidentally scraped across Liam's sensitive flesh, and his fingers tightened in Niall's hair.

"Careful with the teeth, babe," he whispered. Niall opened his mouth a little wider, careful now, and hummed softly. Liam struggled to control his hips as Niall pulled off.

"Show me," the younger boy whispered. "Show me how you like it. I'll never learn unless you show me, right?"

So Liam showed him. He put a bit of pressure on Niall's head, gently encouraging him to take more of his length. He watched Niall's face intently, knowing the exact moment that Niall felt he would choke and started to tense, and gripped Niall's head a little tighter and tilted it at an angle.

"Relax your throat," he commanded softly, and when Niall finally managed to relax, he pushed down again. His cock slid easily down Niall's throat, and the younger boy's eyes widened when he realized how surprisingly easy this was.

Every time Liam pulled him up, Niall would breathe in through his nose and start sucking fiercely at the length in his mouth. Liam's moans grew louder coming from low in his throat, when Niall hummed again, the vibrations going straight through Liam's cock.

Niall quickly found the right angle, the one that made Liam moan and his hips started to come off the bed. Moments later Liam was grunting out a warning: "Shit, Niall, I'm gonna—fuck!"

To his surprise, Niall kept sucking, even when he came, hard. He whimpered as his hips thrust up on their own, dumping his load down Niall's throat, forcing the younger boy to swallow. Liam pulled him up and off and brought their lips together, tasting himself on Niall's tongue.

"How was it?" Niall asked, his voice slightly hoarse from his now sore throat.

"Amazing," Liam answered, staring at Niall like he was the most amazing thing in the world. (And if you asked Liam, Niall was the most amazing thing in the world.) "How about you? You feel okay?"

"I feel just fine." Niall smiled at him and snuggled up to Liam's side. Liam reached a hand over to return the favor, but he found Niall soft and his shorts damp. Niall just grinned shyly at him and then he closed his eyes.

After that it seemed like Niall's favorite thing to do was suck Liam off. Every chance he got he'd get down on his knees and beg. Liam grew more comfortable with the idea of Niall's lips around his cock and he was eventually willing to try everything that Niall wanted him to do. Sometimes it'd be small things—"pull my hair", or "go harder", or something like that—but then it'd be something big: "Just use my mouth, come on. I can take it, Li."

At first Liam was nervous—too afraid that he'd choke Niall, or gag him or something unpleasant like that. Liam loved that Niall trusted him so much; trusted him enough to just let him take control of everything—not that Liam ever really controlled Niall. He always gave him the chance to pull away, say no, always made sure that Niall was absolutely sure that he wanted to do something.

Their relationship was great, everything that Liam and Niall could have ever have wanted. They talked everyday (of course, because they lived together), did plenty of activities together, and anything intimate was kept between them; not even Zayn knew what they did. (Louis and Harry were different; anything that happened was shared with the other boys.)

But that was okay. They could live with that.

In January, Maura and Karen called. They wanted to see their sons, see how they were doing. Of course Liam and Niall invited them over for dinner, and both decided that they'd tell both women about their relationship. Surely nothing too serious would blow up since it would be theirmothers and mothers are usually more understand than fathers, but it was hard to tell.

Karen got there before Maura, her eyes filling with tears as she hugged her son and Niall, squeezing both of them tightly. Niall held her close, rubbing her back as she cried into his shoulder briefly. "I've missed both of you two," she said, voice shaky. "It wasn't the same without you guys running around all over the place."

Niall smiled at her. "It was pretty odd at first, being in the new house and everything," he said.

Maura was there shortly after, looking happy as could be. She hugged Niall then Liam, then sat down on the sofa with Karen. They started to converse softly while Niall and Liam started on supper. While the women got lost in mother talking, sharing memories of the boys when they were little Niall leaned against Liam's back, his fingertips lightly running down his belly.

"So we're gonna tell them?" he whispered. Liam nodded and looked over his shoulder at him.

"You sure you're ready for them to know?" Liam took one of Niall's hands into his own, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. "We can wait, you know."

"We've been together for over a year and three months," Niall said. "I think it's time."

"It's whatever you wanna do, babe," Liam said, focusing his attention back to the food he was cooking.

They were all seated at the table; Maura sat on one side, Niall beside her, Liam across from him, with Karen sitting across from Maura. They ate silently for a moment, savoring Niall and Liam's cooking.

"I never thought my son would be such a good cook," Maura joked, grinning at Niall. "So, what all's new?" She looked at Liam expectantly. "You've been taking care of him, yes?"

"Of course," Liam said with a smile.

Niall glanced at him; Liam was already looking at him. "Would you like to do the honors?"

Liam cleared his throat, setting his fork down. "You two would support us no matter what, right?"

"Well of course," Karen said, eyeing her son suspiciously.

"What about you, Mum?" Niall asked.

"Of course," Maura said.

"Even if we were gay?"

Maura swallowed thickly, raising an eyebrow at her son. "You mean to tell us that you two are…?"

"Yes," Niall said. "I… I love him, Mum."

"And I love him, too, Maura," Liam said gently.

Karen had a grin on her face. "I always thought you two were a bit closer than normal," she said, looking proud of herself—Liam knew that she must have known all along. "How long?"

"One year, three months, two weeks and one day," Liam said matter-of-factly.

Maura sat up a bit straighter. "Are you two happy?"

"Happiest I've ever been, Mum," Niall said.

Maura nodded slowly, staring at Liam, and then she smiled—but they could all tell it was forced. "Well, as long as you're happy, and as long as you don't hurt him"—she gave Liam a stern look—"then I'm happy for you." She looked a bit stressed, but she forced a smile and continued eating.

After dinner, Karen and Maura said their goodbyes and left, leaving Liam and Niall to wash the dishes—though Liam had insisted that the two go home, leave the housework to him and Niall. They cleaned up silently, just happy to have had everything blow over so smoothly.

Liam turned on the television, sitting down on the sofa as he waited for Niall to finish putting the last of the dishes away. When the younger boy came in, snuggling up close to Liam, he pressed a kiss to Liam's chin.

"I'm glad we told them," Niall said.

"Me too," Liam mumbled, kissing Niall on the nose. "Do you think Lou and Harry have told their mums yet?"

"Probably," Niall said after a moment of thought. "Louis can't keep a secret to save his life, and Harry's pretty close to his mum, so I reckon he'd tell her."

Niall cuddled up closer to Liam on the bed, their lips locked. Liam's hand was beneath Niall's boxers, his fingers wrapped around Niall's erection lightly, teasing him with slow strokes. Niall writhed against him, making small sounds of pleasure.

"Li, I want… Oh, fuck, I want…" Niall couldn't get the sentence out, nipping at Liam's chin and throat, his hands groping at Liam's cock through the older boy's boxers.

"What do you want?" Liam whispered. He paused in his movements, his fingers still wrapped around Niall's cock. "Tell me what you want, baby."

Niall blushed briefly. "I want you," he whispered into Liam's ear, "to fuck me."

Liam's eyes widened and he stared down at the younger boy. "Are you sure? I'm perfectly fine with what we have."

Niall looked him in the eye. "Come on, Li, don't you want to?" He kissed him. "I'm sure, Liam. I've been thinking about it and you know what? I love you. I want this. I trust you."

Liam felt his chest tighten and he was quick to get on top of Niall, lifting the younger boy's hips up so he could pull his boxers off. Niall was still hard and Liam was quick to suck him down, causing Niall to cry out at the sudden wet, burning heat of Liam's mouth. Liam sucked at him shortly, then reached into the bedside drawer for the lube they kept—mainly for when one of them were home alone and needed it badly.

Liam coated his fingers generously, rubbing his fingers together as best he could to warm the lube, and then he nudged Niall's legs apart. He slowed down then, staring into Niall's eyes as he circled the blonde's entrance until Niall was quivering and begging.

Liam slowly pushed his finger in, watching as Niall's mouth fell open and he moaned.

"Oh, god, Li," Niall said breathlessly.

"You okay?"

"Of course. More, please, fuck."

Liam grinned at him and pushed his finger deeper, pulling out until only the tip was left, then slipping a second inside. Niall groaned, his lower lip quivering for just a moment.

"You sure you're okay, babe?" Liam asked, brows creased. He looked to Niall's erection; still hard, looking painful and swollen.

"It burns," Niall said honestly, "but it feels good. C'mon, don't stop."

So Liam didn't. He fingered him until he had three fingers in as deep as fingers could go, until Niall was pushing down on them, begging for Liam to just come on and fuck him already. Liam ignored his begging, continuing to stroke Niall's prostate until suddenly—

"Oh shit! Oh god!" Niall was coming, spurting all over his own chest and abdomen, shaking and almost sobbing.

Liam's eyes widened as he watched Niall come undone beneath him, just from Liam's fingers. It felt great that he'd managed to make Niall cum just from fingering him.

Once Niall calmed down Liam went to cuddle him but Niall stood from the bed on shaky legs. He dropped to his knees on the floor, staring at Liam expectantly.

"Get over here," Niall said. "I plan on you sucking you off, right now."

Liam complied, walking around the bed until he stood in front of Niall. The blonde pulled down on his boxers, releasing his erection. Niall quickly sucked him down, taking all of him. He took Liam's hands and placed them in his hair, looking up at him. Liam took control, pulling Niall's head back and forth, more or less fucking his face.

Niall took it greedily, making dirty slurping sounds as he sucked and swallowed and teased with his tongue, quickly driving Liam to the edge. Liam ground out a warning and let go of Niall's hair.

Niall kept at it, sucking until Liam's hips thrust harshly, coming hard down his throat. Niall swallowed it all, his eyes closed as he continued to suck at Liam until he was completely finished.

Liam crawled onto the bed, pulling Niall over to him and cuddled him.

"I can't believe I seriously came just from your fingers," Niall said, burying his face into Liam's chest.

"It was pretty hot, actually," Liam said. "Maybe that's what I'll do. I got a mad blow job afterward." He winked at Niall, grinning at the glare he got.

"You better fuck me," Niall said, laughing softly.

They weren't happy for very much longer. A few days after that, Zayn got into a car accident with his niece, Delilah, totaling the car and landing both of them in the hospital. Harry, Louis, Niall and Liam stayed at the hospital, waiting for them to wake up. Zayn had severe head trauma, and Delilah had gone into a coma from brain swelling. Both were on life support and they all knew neither would pull through.

Eight days after the crash, Delilah passed away. Louis had gone to her room in the ICU during visiting hours to see if she was getting any better, but the little girl had died already. When he'd told the others, Harry had cried, Niall sat in the corner chair staring at the floor, and Liam couldn't help but think about how it would be better if Zayn died too.

He knew how close Zayn and Delilah had been; he knew how it would break Zayn to know that Delilah was gone because of the accident. Zayn would never be the same, really; Delilah was his whole world. It would crush him.

"You know, it's really fucked up," Liam said, "what I'm thinking right now."

"What are you thinking?" Louis asked, voice hoarse from crying. He had also been close to Delilah and had often baby-sat her.

Liam was quiet for a moment. "Do you realize how Zayn will react to this?"

Niall squeezed his eyes shut at the thought. "Fuck," he whispered. "He'll be devastated."

"Exactly," Liam said. "So I'm thinking… Zayn doesn't deserve to live with this, really, y'know?"

"He doesn't deserve to die, either," Harry said. He had calmed down a while ago. "Neither of them."

"But you've gotta think, babe," Louis said, "if Zayn wakes up, what's he got? His niece is gone. That girl was—She was his whole life. He'll end up doing some terribly stupid, and I know you know what I'm meaning."

Harry was quiet, so Niall spoke up. "I don't know about you lot," he said, "but I'd rather not be around if Zayn killed himself because of this."

"That's what I'm saying," Liam said. "He'll be so eaten up about it… He won't be the same."

"How do we know Zayn'll even wake up?" Harry asked quietly.

"We should ask the doctor," Louis said.

So they had. And just their luck, the doctors didn't think Zayn would ever wake up. Louis took the step of calling Zayn's mum to let her know and they all said their goodbyes to Zayn and left. Zayn's mum had the last say in his fate, and she would never let him live when he couldn't actuallylive.

Zayn's funeral had been bittersweet. It was beautiful, but the pain of seeing the bubbly, funny, adorable boy laying lifeless in his casket, dressed in a suit—which Liam thought numbly: "He'd kill whoever put him in that. He'd hate it"—and surrounded by flowers and sobbing relatives and friends ruined it. Liam held onto Niall's hand the whole time, whispering in his ear comforting words as the blonde sighed and tried not to cry. Louis stood outside the funeral home, staring out into space with a blank expression, thinking about all the times Zayn had come over. Harry was curled in on himself in the chair beside Niall, crying silently. Niall had a hold of Harry's hand, rubbing his thumb over Harry's knuckles.

After the service, they all gathered around Louis, taking turns hugging him. Louis clung to Niall the longest, burying his face into his neck, sucking a deep breath in.

"I still can't even…" he started before having to stop himself so he wouldn't cry. "Fuck, this is hard."

"I know," Niall murmured, and he did—he did know. He had been close to Zayn, same as the others. He couldn't believe that he was gone.

Louis absentmindedly placed a kiss to Niall's neck, mumbling a "thank you" before pulling away. He smiled, eyes full of tears, and it was obviously a forced smile but it was better than him sobbing, and laughed. "I need to just go home, get wasted, and sleep."

The tension seemed to let up a little bit, and they all grinned. "Sounds like a great idea," Niall said, "minus the get wasted part."

Louis ruffled his hair affectionately.

Liam couldn't explain it, but he felt like Louis was moving on from Zayn to Niall, judging by the way he was suddenly touching Niall a lot more—normally it was Zayn that Louis always touched, whether it be a tap on the shoulder, stroke of the cheek, ruffle of the hair. It was probably unhealthy, Louis trying to use Niall as a replacement or whatever, but Liam wasn't about to say anything. If that was what Louis needed, then that was what Liam would let him have.

A girl dressed in all black and looking halfway to hell walked up to the four of them, clutching at a small purse. Her makeup was smeared and she was still sniffling, quietly, as she brushed some of her bangs out of her face. Liam stood up a bit straighter, nodding his head at her.

"I'm sure none of you know me," the girl said softly, her voice sounding a bit hoarse, "but, um… I was Zayn's girlfriend. He might have told you about me…?"

Louis' eyes widened and Harry shook his head. "No," the brunette said, "we never heard anything about you."

"What's your name?" Niall asked, trying to be polite.

The girl flinched a little, shrugging her shoulders. "Melanie," she said. "I figured he would have said something… But I wanted to thank you all for coming. It means a lot to me, and to his mum and dad, too. Were you close to him?"

"He was one of our best mates," Louis said softly.

Melanie nodded, shifting on her feet awkwardly. "Right," she said. "Well, I'll just be going now. I still have people to thank and whatnot. It was, uh, nice meeting you all. Um…"

Liam held his hand out for her to shake, and Melanie took it. "If you need anything," he said, "just let us know, okay?"

"Thank you."

It took a while but life turned back to normal, as much as it could. Louis eventually quit crying, Harry finally started smiling again, Niall got lively again, and Liam was back to being his normal, mature self—protective of Niall. It still hurt, especially when one of them would invite the others over and go to text Zayn's number, only to remember and get real quiet. Liam seemed to do it the most, since he was always inviting Harry and Louis over to the house. One time he almost called Zayn's phone, only to realize what he was doing when he yelled to Niall, "Hey, do you think Zayn would come…?" He trailed off, blinking, and shoved his phone back in his pocket, quickly leaving for the bathroom. Niall followed him there, coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around Liam's chest.

"It's okay," he'd said, placing a kiss to the back of Liam's neck. "It's gonna take a while, but… It'll be okay."

Niall was clingy now, staying as close to Liam as he could get at all possible times, snuggling up as close as possible at night. He kissed Liam a lot more often now, whispering promises of forever, of always loving him, of never wanting to let him go. Liam couldn't help but enjoy Niall's new clinginess, accepting everything Niall gave him and giving Niall that much more in return. It was good.

Liam and Niall were looking through a photo album one day, looking at all the photos of all their memories. There was a photo in there of Liam and Niall kissing each other, their eyes closed and their lips puckered like fishes, and Zayn was in the background mocking them, his own eyes closed as he pretended to hold another person's face in front of him. When they saw it, Liam immediately burst into laughter and Niall got stuck in a giggle fit, falling onto his side on the couch.

"That's why everybody loved him," Niall said through his giggles. "He was just so… Damn."

They calmed down after a moment, the sudden heaviness of their loss hitting them both in the face. Somehow they'd ended up in the bedroom, kissing furiously with tears in both of their eyes. It was all so desperate, like they both needed comforting, but neither knew how to give it.

Niall had begged Liam to fuck him, and Liam had fingered him until he cried, sobbing and writhing and begging even louder for Liam to just fucking take him already. Liam murmured dirtily about how hot Niall looked like this, legs spread wide, skin flushed and covered in sweat, his cheeks stained with tears.

Niall offered to suck Liam, to get him wet, and Liam had let him, staring down at him as he messily got Liam's cock ready. Then Niall got back underneath him, spread his legs wide, and threw his head back with a moan as Liam pushed in slowly. He opened easily, already stretched from Liam's fingers, but he was still so tight, encasing Liam like a second set of skin.

It was over too soon, though; Niall keeping up a constant chorus of "I love you, I love you, I love you" and those deep, guttural moans. Liam went slowly, trying to make it last, but it was no use—within minutes he was coming, gripping tightly at Niall's hips as his hips snapped furiously, burying himself deep and letting out a cry.

Just feeling Liam's cum burning inside him was enough to make Niall cry out, cum shooting out of his cock and onto his chest and the sheets beneath him. They crumpled together, a tangle of limbs, breathing heavily.

Then Liam freaked. He cuddled Niall close, brushing his fingers through Niall's hair. "Oh, god, are you all right? Was I too rough? Are you okay? How's your heart? Are you feeling all right? Are you feeling weak? Can you breathe okay? Let me feel your heart beat."

Niall laughed breathlessly, catching Liam's lips in a passionate kiss. "Li, I'm fine," he whispered. "I feel better than I've felt in a long time."

"You know, I think we should make a toast," Louis said, words a little slurred from the alcohol. He raised his glass, looking at Liam then Niall then Harry.

"To what?" Niall asked.

"To being blessed to have known Zayn."

Louis had a hard time getting over Zayn's death—he never truly got over it, actually, it just got easier to deal with. But he still wasn't all right afterward. Harry would often text Liam or Niall, telling them how much Louis had changed. "He doesn't like to watch certain movies anymore, and he doesn't like cigarettes, either. Anything that reminds him of Zayn, he'll throw out."

Finally, when the first year anniversary of the worst day of their lives rolled around, they all went to visit his grave, bringing a pack of his favorite brand of cigarettes. They sat in a semi-circle in front of the headstone, a box of tissues in front of them just in case. Louis sat and stared at the stone for a while, just reading the engraving over and over again.

Zain Javadd Malik

12 January 1993—14 March 2015

A loving son, a beloved friend

After staring at the headstone in silence, Niall finally said: "You know, that's pretty short for an engraving, don't ya think?"

Louis grinned sadly. "You know he wasn't very big on goodbyes, and he wouldn't have wanted some great big long thing."

"Yeah," Niall said quietly. "I reckon… I think he'd be happy with this."

"He would be," Liam said, reaching over to put his hand on Niall's shoulder. The younger boy leaned closer to him, and Liam put his arms around him, pulling him closer. Louis did the same to Harry, running his fingers through the brunette's hair slowly. Harry looked close to tears and he breathed in shakily.

"It's so weird," he finally said. "I mean, like… He should be here with us, you know? Like, we shouldn't be sitting in the cemetery right now. We should be… I dunno, at the pub or something. Zayn should be sitting in one of our living rooms smoking… or something. I just…" He pressed his face into Louis' shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut. "I can't stand this."

"None of us can, Haz," Niall murmured softly.

"It really shouldn't be like this," Louis said. "It's… Ugh." He shook his head, eyes threatening to spill over with tears as he just stared at Zayn's grave.

They stayed there for a while, eventually managing to compose themselves enough to talk about memories. For the first time that day Louis laughed at Niall's story about Zayn stumbling into their living room, drunk off his ass, slurring about how he was never going to drink again, and falling onto the coffee table.

"He literally fell onto the coffee table and started snoring," Niall said. "No lie. There was no pause between his fall and him sleeping. It was weird."

"I remember that," Liam said. "He had the worst hangover the next day and he had to sleep in my and Niall's room the whole day."

"Poor guy," Louis said after he'd stopped laughing. "He did shit like that nearly every time he came over to my place."

Harry laughed, quick and loud enough to echo. "Tell them about that time Zayn came in when you were in the shower."

"Oh, right!" Louis' eyes widened as he turned toward the oldest brunette and the Irish boy. "Okay, so I was showering, right? And Zayn just walks into my house, like he lives there, and sits down on the couch. When I come out, in nothing—not even a towel—he's sitting there looking over at me. You know what he says? Do you know what he says? 'Oh. Um. At least you're fit.' And then he walks past me and takes a shower. In my shower!" He slapped his thigh, shaking his head, looking at the ground affectionately. "Not the best story, and not the funniest when said out loud, but it was pretty comical when it happened."

Liam smiled at him, and then they sat in silence again, just drifting off into their own thoughts and memories. Niall shifted closer to Liam and the older boy felt how tense he was, and a quick glance down revealed that Niall was trying not to cry, his eyes overflowing with tears and his face twisted up.

"Hey, calm down," Liam whispered gently, rubbing his shoulder. "It's all right."

"Sorry," Niall said, his voice hoarse and croaky. He wiped at his eyes furiously, shaking his head and leaning away from Liam for a moment. He looked over to Louis, who was just giving him a sympathetic look.

"I can totally picture Zayn laughing at me up there right now," Niall said with a weak laugh.

"He probably is," Harry agreed with a sad smile.

Then they were quiet for just a brief moment—no more than ten minutes at the most—until Niall was talking again. "You know what I don't understand?" he mumbled, looking back at the others. "If Melanie was Zayn's girl… Why wasn't she at the hospital when he was dying? Why didn't Zayn tell us? I mean, surely he would have mentioned her when he was drunk or something, right? He couldn't keep shit quiet when he was drunk."

Liam nodded slowly, thinking about what he had said. "You've got a point there," he said. "Plus, Zayn said that relationships weren't for him, right?"

"He said—and I quote: 'Relationships are too much work. Sex is great, though,'" Harry said.

Niall thought for a moment. "Maybe she was a one-night-stand who got clingy or something. Thinks that they were really a couple when they weren't."

"That might be it," Louis agreed.

"Does anybody know her number?" Liam looked at them. "Maybe we could call her and ask or something… Wait, no."

Harry shook his head. "It's his birthday. If he really meant that much to her as she made him out to mean, she'll show."

Liam only nodded, staring at the gate to the cemetery. His thoughts drifted off to Zayn; his laugh, his crinkly-eyed smile, the way he'd slur his words when he got a little drunk or when he'd just woken up. His bed-head when he'd wake up and flop around on the bed for too long trying to get a few more minutes of sleep. Liam and Niall's fridge was almost always half-empty, what with Niall loving food and Zayn's near constant munchies. They were all fond memories, even the few times when Zayn was a twat because he would make sure he was the first to apologize.

He was a great lad, and Liam fucking missed him.

By 1:30 Harry had gotten a runny nose and Niall had been shivering for a while. Liam cursed himself for not leaving sooner but as they walked to the gate, he saw Melanie walking down the sidewalk, all teary-eyed and flustered. Liam caught her eye and she sped up, fast-walking to reach him.

"There she is," Louis muttered under his breath.

"Get in the car, guys," Liam said. When Niall went to protest he added: "Turn the heater on and get warmed up. You and Harry are gonna get sick, if you haven't already. I'll talk to her, don't worry."

Niall didn't say anything, only opened the passenger side door. He held his hand out and Liam dug into his back pocket and handed him the keys. Louis and Harry got in the back, cuddling in close because it was cold and they quite liked being warm.

Liam walked to the gate, opening. He waited as Melanie stepped into the cemetery, her cheeks rosy and her breath coming out in foggy puffs.

"Hello, Melanie," he greeted her politely.

"Hello…" She trailed off, having forgotten his name.

"Liam. I don't think I told you my name when we first met?"

"Oh," Melanie said. "Are you leaving?" She looked up into his eyes, seeming to be much smaller than she really was.

"Yes, actually," Liam said. "We've been here for a while talking to him… and Harry and Ni are getting sick."

"Oh." Melanie bit her lip. "Um, would you mind waiting? I'll only be a moment—just need to say a few things to him, y'know—and I live just a few blocks away."

Liam smiled. "Of course," he said. "Take all the time you need. We need to get warmed up anyway. Did you really walk all this way?"

"Yeah," Melanie said. "Thanks, Liam. Really." She gave him a sad smiled and walked past him, heading to Zayn's headstone. Liam walked around to the driver's side of the car and got in. He looked in the rearview mirror and watched as Melanie sat on her knees in front of the grave. He saw her lips moving, knew she was saying something, but he couldn't tell what.

Niall looked over at him. "Are we waiting on something?"

"Gonna take her back to her house," Liam said. "She walked, and it's cold."

"Oh." Niall leaned his head back so it was rested in the small space between the headrest and the door and closed his eyes. "You know, I honestly feel worse now than I did before we got here. Like… I feel like shit, all emotional and… yeah."

"You're not the only one," Louis sighed.

After another couple of minutes Melanie stood up from the ground, wiping at her face as she walked over to the car. Louis scooted over into the middle, giving her the room to get in the back seat. She smiled at him, sniffling and whimpering uncontrollably, and Louis put his arm around her tenderly, letting her press her face into his shoulder to cry. She held it back, though, her face turning red as she kept the tears in.

"Which way, love?" Liam asked gently once they'd reached a street corner.

"Take a left up here, third house on the right." Melanie wiped her eyes again, smiling at Louis. "If I got snot on you, I'm—"

"Don't worry about it," Louis interrupted.

"Thanks for taking me home," Melanie said after a moment.

"No need to thank me," Liam said.

Once they reached her house, Melanie climbed out of the car. Louis patted her on the back as she left, murmuring a soft "Keep your head up" as she stood from the car. She waved goodbye and they left, riding back to Liam's in silence.

Niall had fallen asleep by the time they reached home and Louis gently shook him awake, brushing the blonde bangs from his eyes—the same tender gesture he used to wake Zayn up with when the younger boy had a hangover. Liam watched as Niall moaned, opening his arms and grinning. Louis said something that sounded like a complaint, but then he pulled Niall up into his arms, carrying the blonde to the front door. Liam held the door open, letting Louis walk by and place Niall on the couch.

"C'mon, Ni, stay awake," Louis said. "It's only like 2:45. You'll never get to sleep tonight."

"Li can make me tired," Niall said, giving Louis a suggestive grin.

Louis scrunched up his nose playfully. "Whatever you say, hon." He stood up, looking over at Harry, who was sitting at the kitchen island, swinging his feet. "Well, it's about time we headed home, huh? Make lunch, watch one of Zayn's movies, cry for a while?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah." He hugged Niall, bending down so Niall didn't have to sit up. "See you later, mate. Thanks for taking us, Li."

"Of course." Liam hugged them both, narrowing his eyes when Louis headed back to the couch to hug Niall again, letting his lips linger just a little too long on Niall's cheek. Liam didn't say anything, though, not wanting to cause a problem when it was probably just nothing—probably just Louis being Louis and needing someone to take care of now.

Liam made lunch, letting Niall nap on the couch for a while until the smell reached his nostrils and he bounced up, suddenly awake. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, sighing happily. "You're the best, Li," he said, giving Liam a smile.

Liam just smiled back, shaking his head and handing Niall his plate. "Eat," he said, sitting beside him on the sofa. Niall started eating, slowly, like he was trying to savor the flavor, but Liam just pushed his food together, squishing and pushing the mash around the plate. Niall looked over at him from the corner of his eyes.

"You all right, babe?" he asked, taking another bite out of his salad.

Liam nodded but didn't say anything.

"You sure?" Niall set his plate on the coffee table, turning his body a little so he could face Liam. "You seem… really quiet."

"Mm," was all Liam said. He set his own plate down, and then suddenly he was on Niall, pressing him to the couch and kissing him fiercely. Niall let out a small sound of surprise before he started kissing back, opening his mouth to Liam's unusually demanding tongue. Liam tasted the inside of his mouth, licking in and then pulling away to suck at Niall's bottom lip.

Liam was crawling on top of Niall, pressing him against the cushions just a little harder. Niall suddenly went limp, surrendering, kissing Liam sweetly. He reached up with one to stroke the brunettes cheek, his eyes closed. The older boy calmed down then, his lips becoming softer, gentler in their kisses.

"What was that all about?" Niall asked a little breathlessly when Liam finally broke apart.

"I don't… I just…" Liam stumbled over his words until he finally just gave up.

Niall read him, though; he's always been able to read Liam like he's some sort of book. He smiled at Liam softly, reaching over to take his hand. He squeezed his fingers as he stood up. "C'mon," he said. "Let me make you feel better."

Liam willingly followed him to their bedroom, silent. Once they reached the room, Niall closed the door quickly, standing in front of Liam. "Whatever you need," he said, "I'll give you."

Liam looked at him for a moment, and then he opened his arms. "Just you," he said. So Niall moved forward, wrapping his arms around the older boy, feeling as Liam squeezed him tightly. Liam buried his face in Niall's shoulder, and Niall could feel him smile as he did the same. Liam kissed his neck softly, walking backward until they were seated on the bed, just wrapped around each other.

"I miss him," Liam said. He sounded so miserable right then, and Niall couldn't help but feel helpless; he didn't know how to help Liam. He felt vulnerable as Liam suddenly tensed as he held back tears.

"I miss him, too," Niall said gently. He rubbed at Liam's back for a moment, pressing a kiss to the brunette's ear. The older boy shuddered suddenly.

"Ni…" he breathed, his breath hot on Niall's neck and shoulder.

"What is it?" Niall murmured. "What do you need?"

Liam shook his head, pulling away to look at him. "I don't know," he said, sounding so lost.

Niall kissed him, just pressing his lips to Liam's until Liam's tongue swept out again. Niall pulled away just enough to say: "Anything you need, Li." Then they were kissing again, Liam seeming to explode with a sudden need. His hands were all over Niall, clutching at his back, his hips, his cheeks.

Niall broke their kiss. "Tell me what you want," he said. "Whatever it is."

"Shirt off," Liam said, already working on getting out of his own sweater. Niall quickly started to oblige, but Liam put a hand on his side. "Slowly. Let me watch."

Niall shivered as he slowed down, peeling the material over his head. He looked at Liam, finding the brunette watching him intently, and then Liam was running his hands over Niall's chest, lightly pinching at the blonde's nipples. Niall bit his lip when Liam scraped across the hardening buds with his fingernails.

"I need—" Liam started hoarsely, but then he just reached for the buttons on Niall's trousers, quickly ridding the blonde of his jeans.

Niall found himself sprawled on his back on the mattress, staring up at Liam as the older boy stripped out of his own trousers. Liam pinned him to the bed by his full body weight, sitting on Niall's chest. Niall felt the breath knocked out of him, made a small noise, and Liam let off a bit, balancing himself on his knees just a hair. Niall needed this just as bad as Liam; he was giving Liam something to take from him, needed Liam to take from him, and Liam needed to be given something to take. Liam was still gentle—albeit not as gentle as he normally would be—as he pushed his cock against Niall's closed lips.

Niall opened his mouth, completely ready when Liam suddenly thrust into his mouth, his cock filling Niall's mouth quicker than the smaller boy had anticipated. Niall coughed for a moment, his eyes welling up as Liam pulled out and pushed back in deep. Niall took it, digging his fingers into Liam's thighs to keep himself grounded, knew that Liam would stop if Niall needed him to.

Liam leaned over, bracing himself on his hands. "Yeah?" he breathed, looking down at Niall. When the blonde nodded as best he could, Liam began thrusting quickly. Niall sucked, closing his eyes to keep his mind off Liam's desperate, hurt and lost expression. He didn't want to see as Liam fought to keep himself under control, fought to keep his emotions in check.

When Liam pulled out, Niall tried to keep him in, craning his head up to chase after Liam's cock greedily—and Liam loved it. His fingers, dry and careful, began to circle around Niall's hole. Niall tensed—they'd never done anything dry before, and he felt nervous. Liam put just a little bit of pressure on Niall's entrance, felt how tense the blonde was.

He reached into the bedside table, pulling out the bottle of lube. He shimmied down Niall's body so he was no longer on his chest, pushing Niall's legs up so he could get a better reach—and a better view. He slicked his fingers quickly, tossing the bottle over to the side, then pushed the tip of his index finger inside. He teased Niall for just a brief second before he was pushing his whole finger inside. Niall moaned softly, staring up at him; Liam looked half to wrecked, tears in his eyes and his lower lip tucked between his teeth.

Niall reached a hand up to cup Liam's face, brushing a tear away. Liam gritted his teeth and pushed a second and third fingers in quickly, stretching Niall quicker than the blonde was ready for, but Niall didn't complain. He held back a whimper when Liam crooked his fingers and pulled them out, causing Niall to clench down on air.

"You trust me, right?" Liam asked quietly.

Niall nodded, a small smile on his lips. Liam leaned down and kissed him. Then he was moving to lay back against the headboard. He looked to Niall reassuringly, motioning for the younger boy to sit in his lap. Niall crawled over Liam, placing himself just a little bit before his groin so their cocks rubbed together, causing both of them to moan at the friction.

"Would you try it like this for me?" Liam asked. His hands were on Niall's hips, thumbs digging in gently as he waited for his answer.

Niall grinned sheepishly. "We've never done it like this before," he whispered. "But I'll try." He raised himself up, gripping Liam's cock. He angled it, holding it steady as he sank down slowly. The angle felt so different, almost painful because Liam's cock was hitting him in different places, but once he was sitting back on Liam's lap he let out a shaky breath. He looked at Liam, seeing how the older boy was breathing harshly.

"Good?" Liam asked, voice strained.

"Good," Niall breathed.

"Whenever you're—tell me when you can—Fuck. Move when you can."

Niall began to move as soon as the words left Liam's mouth, raising himself slightly only to drop back down. Liam's fingers tightened on his hips as Niall picked up his pace, and soon Liam's hips were thrusting up to meet his ass.

"So tight," Liam murmured, pressing a kiss to Niall's collarbone. "Feels so good, baby. So good. Fuck, like that. Yeah."

Niall bit his lip, beginning to lose his rhythm. Liam held him still then, his thrusts speeding up until he was simply pounding up into him. Niall held onto Liam's shoulders, moaning loudly every time he felt the head of his cock jab into his prostrate perfectly.

"That's it," Liam praised. "You gonna cum? Cum for me, Ni. Come on."

Niall came with a cry, splashing over Liam's chest and abdomen, forcing a moan from Liam at the burning heat and the way his ass clenched down around him. Niall felt weak, wanted to just completely go limp, but Liam hadn't cum yet—so he kept moving his hips, whimpering because he was overstimulated and felt sore already.

Liam bit down on Niall's shoulder as he came, grunting as he held Niall flush against him, burying his seed deep inside. He stayed inside until he softened, gently pulling out and curling his arms around Niall's back. Niall laid his chin on Liam's shoulder, panting. His heart was racing, pounding harshly in his chest, and he felt dizzy, light-headed and tired.

Liam reached a hand up and brushed his hair back, gently pulling Niall's head back to look at him. "Thank you," he said, kissing him deeply. "You're all right, yeah?"

"Yeah," Niall nodded. He was still breathless, though, and he could feel his pulse all over, as though it was twitching his flesh. It was irregular, like his heart couldn't find its normal rhythm anymore, and he felt himself beginning to panic.

"Actually, I—" he started, and then the dizziness went away and his heart beat went back to normal, steady and strong. Liam stared at him, expecting him to continue but Niall shook his head and kissed him again. "I'm tired."

"It's only eight, though," Liam teased, but he yanked at the covers and curled underneath of them, wrapping himself around Niall protectively. He pressed a kiss to Niall's neck. "I love you. You're amazing."

"I love you, too, Li," Niall said with a smile, turning his head to look back at him.

Niall didn't tell Liam about what happened with his heart. He didn't want to make the other boy worry, so he kept it to himself. He didn't even give any hints that anything was wrong—kept on smiling and laughing and carrying on like he wasn't a twenty-year-old man.

Louis and Harry visited one day, all smiles and happiness. Louis had bounded in through the front door, flopping down on the couch carelessly. He looked drugged, a far-off look in his eyes and a smile that seemed wide enough to hurt his face. Harry was calmer, heading to the fridge and grabbed a Coke before walking to the couch, sitting beside Louis. The older boy raised his legs and rested them on Harry's lap.

"You look awful happy," Liam commented. He raised an eyebrow at the two.

"I am," Louis said, his smile seeming to get wider—if that was even possible. "Harry said yes."

"Said yes?" Niall scratched at his chin. "Said yes to what?"

Louis gave him a look—one that seemed to say are you kidding?—and scoffed. "I asked him to marry me and he said yes."

Liam's eyes widened and Niall couldn't keep the smile off his face. "That's great!" he said. "I'm so happy for you guys!"

"Yeah, that's really great," Liam agreed. "Do you know when everything's gonna happen?"

"Well, we haven't decided yet," Harry said, and he looked about ready to jump out of the ceiling, "but we'd like it to be in Ireland, maybe."

"Where you're from," Louis said to Niall. "It'll give you a reason to go back, yeah?"

Liam didn't miss the look in Louis' eyes when he looked at Niall.

Niall nodded. "That sounds nice," he said. "Let us know, yeah?"

Harry nodded. "Hey, can we have more than one best man?" he asked, mainly to Louis. "'cause, y'know, I'd like for you both to be, y'know, best man."

"I'm sure we could pull it off," Louis said. "It'll all be fine."

But it really wasn't. The wedding day was set for September 28, but apparently Louis and Harry had a falling out about a month before. Harry showed up outside Liam and Niall's door, tear tracks covering his cheeks, and he looked torn apart.

"So, um… yeah," he said, uncomfortable. His voice was rough. "Me and Lou…"

"Fuck," Niall swore under his breath. He reached a hand out and put it on Harry's shoulder. "Come on in, Haz. C'mon." He helped Harry in and Liam went to put on some tea, sitting in the chair while Niall sat beside Harry on the sofa.

"He just—I don't know—I don't know if I can—y'know?" Harry couldn't finish his sentences. "I'm not sure if—I don't think I can do it. I'm not sure if I'm enough for him anymore." He wiped at his face furiously. "We were doing so well—we were doing great, but now it's like we just aren't clicking anymore all of a sudden."

"What happened?" Liam asked softly.

"He just—I asked if he was feeling all right because he was being real quiet, y'know? And he just, like, snapped. He started yelling and throwing things. I couldn't—I didn't know what to do. I got scared and that—It made him madder, I guess."

"Shit," Niall muttered. "If you need to stay here for a while or anything…"

"I want things to work." Harry shook his head. "I love him. I want to marry him. But I—I can't handle it if he's gonna be like this, y'know?"

Niall just nodded; he didn't know what to say. He looked to Liam, but the brunette didn't know either. Niall reached over and put his arm around the younger boy, letting Harry lean against him and cry for a moment. Harry hated crying, especially in front of these two, so he quickly tried to compose himself.

"I'm sorry," he laughed, but it sounded sad. "I don't mean to—I don't want you guys to think I'm a baby or anything—"

"We don't think that," Niall said gently.

Liam stood up, petting Harry on the shoulder as he walked past and into the kitchen. He fetched the cups of tea, carrying them out to the other two. He handed one to Harry, who took it with shaky hands, and Niall sat his own down on the coffee table.

"Thanks," they both said quietly.

Liam sat back down, picking at a hangnail. He was so uncomfortable—Harry and Louis never fought and if they did they always managed to get over it in just a few minutes. So this was hard, not being able to help him.

"You know, he called me after I walked out," Harry said after taking a sip of his tea. "He called, wanted to talk, wanted to explain—but I hung up on him. So he called again."

"Did you answer?" Niall bit his lip, hopping that he hadn't sounded too nosy.

"Well, no," Harry said. "I thought—thought that maybe if I didn't answer he'd call again and leave a message, say he was gonna go look for me or something, but he didn't. Twice—that's all he called. I can't—I don't know what—"

Niall could tell he was starting to freak again, so he put a gentle hand on Harry's shoulder again. "Hey, ssh, it's all right. Everything'll…" He trailed off, knowing that Harry didn't want to be told that it would be okay. Niall actually wasn't sure what Harry wanted or needed, didn't know what Harry thought would work. He wasn't used to them fighting—they'd always got along so well before, so this sudden end was just… too surprising.

Harry sighed, torn and looking miserable. "You know what? I'm gonna call him," he finally said. "I don't even care. I need this to work." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his cell-phone. He stood up and smiled at them sadly. "I'm gonna go…" He pointed a thumb over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow. Liam nodded and he headed out to the porch, his phone already pressed to his ear. Niall looked at Liam, his brows furrowed.

"I hope they work this out," he said softly.

"I do, too," Liam mumbled.

Even though the front door was closed, they could still hear Harry's voice, desperate and cracking like he was some teenager.

"Louis, please don't yell at me. I'm sorry I hung up—I know. I shouldn't have—But you started throwing shit at me! Are you fucking kidding me? All I did was ask you what was wrong, and you flipped your fucking lid! You scared me, Lou. That's why I left."

Niall groaned, running a hand down his face. He closed his eyes tightly; it was late and too close to the damn wedding for this shit. This was the kind of stuff that people do while they were dating, not when they were less than a month away from walking down the aisle together.

After another five minutes, Harry came back in, looking somewhat relieved but definitely stressed. "So…" he said awkwardly. "We, uh, y'know… I guess everything's worked out, maybe. He's coming to talk to all of us; said he didn't want me driving if I'm upset. I guess he wants to talk to allof us."

"All right," Liam said. "When's he gonna be here?"

"In five he said," Harry said scratching at his forehead. He was getting fidgety and nervous, the older boys could tell, and it seemed like that just aggravated him even more. He made a desperate sound and looked at Liam.

"Have you got any chocolate? I need some sugar or something before I die."

"All we've got is chocolate milk," Liam said. But Harry smiled, said, "That's good enough," and got himself a cup.

Louis was there on time, exactly five minutes. He looked a mess, his hair all sticking up at odd ends and his hand bandaged up. He was breathing hard like he'd been running, but he tried to keep calm.

"Harry?" He burst through the front door, not even bothering to knock, causing all three—Niall, Liam, and Harry—to jump. "Oh, fuck, Harry." Louis raced toward him, catching him in a hug before Harry could dodge him. He buried his face in the crook of Harry's neck.

"Louis." Liam's voice brought Louis back and he stepped away just a bit.

"Right," he coughed. "I wanted to—Fuck, Harry, I am so, so sorry. You don't even understand how sorry I am, okay? I don't know what—"

Harry started to say something but Liam held a hand up. "Hear him out, Harry."

"Please," Louis said, his voice cracking. "Just… Fuck! I don't know what came over me! I wasn't feeling well and you were just—so eager to please me, y'know? Make me feel better. But I didn't want that. I wanted—Shit, I don't even know what I wanted."

"So that gives you the right to throw shit at me?" Harry asked, angry and hurt and upset.

Louis made a noise like Harry had actually hit him, and that was when Harry noticed his hand.

"What happened?"

Louis looked at the bandage. "I, um…" He didn't finished, just gave Harry a look, and Harry knew—he always knew what Louis did.

"Jesus, Lou…" he breathed, reaching out to take his hand, running his thumb across the white bandage. "Why?"

"You left," Louis said, as though it was really that simple. "I thought—You didn't answer my call, and you hung up on me. I thought you weren't coming back."

"You scared me, Lou," Harry said. "What did you expect?"

"How did I scare you?" Louis looked confused, and his tone of voice showed that he just wanted to understand—wanted desperately to understand this.

"You were throwing things. I thought you were gonna hurt me."

Louis frowned then. "I'd never—Why would you even think that?"

"I didn't know" Harry said. "You've also never yelled at me like that before."

Niall and Liam had moved closer together, ready to jump in if anything went down violently, and were mumbling to each other things that the other two boys couldn't hear. They weren't sure how this was going to end; whether Louis and Harry would break up, call everything off and just end what they had, or if it'd still be okay.

Louis made a whimper and he looked so desperate. "Hazza, please," he said, "don't—just—forgive me, please. It'll never happen again. I swear it."

"How can I know for sure?" Harry asked after a moment of just staring at Louis. They all could tell he was going to forgive Louis—the way his voice had gone lower, almost a whisper, was the clue.

"Trust, yeah?" Liam heard himself offering before he'd even thought about it. "That's what matters in a relationship—a marriage—yeah?"

"Yeah," Harry agreed, slowly nodding his head. He gave Louis a stern look. "It can't happen again, Lou. If it does—I don't care if we've been married for twenty-five years, I'll leave."

"It won't happen again," Louis assured him, stepping forward to embrace him.

And it didn't happen again. Louis and Harry were married in Dublin—not exactly Niall's home but whatever—on September 28, just like they'd planned. It was a lovely, cool day, when it wasn't too damp and there was enough of a sunset for the mood to be perfect. Harry had insisted on an evening wedding—"So no one gets too hot or anything," he'd said—but Niall had winked at him, knew it was so they could make love at night because that's what Harry loved.

They made a toast shortly before the ceremony, to Zayn. Louis raised his glass—which was small because he really didn't want to ruin his own wedding—and coughed.

"To Zayn, yeah?" he said. "He can't be here, but… Damn, I wish he could be. He'd be laughing, probably at our 'stupid love'."

"To Zayn," Niall cheered, raising his own glass. "All those wonderful years of friendship."

"All the laughs," Liam added.

"The lovable bloody joker," Harry said fondly, raising his own glass.

When the glasses clinked together and they all tilted their heads back to drink, it almost felt right.

Almost.

The wedding had been splendid—Louis had swept Harry up when he kissed the groom, and Liam managed to get through it without bursting into tears from the pure happiness of it all. Niall was grinning the whole time and whooped when Louis and Harry walked down the aisle together, officially Louis and Harry Tomlinson.

After the ceremony, Louis hugged Niall tightly while Harry hugged Liam. Louis murmured something into Niall's ear that the others couldn't hear, but it had the blonde grinning like an idiot. When they finally separated from their hug, Louis looked to Liam and Harry jumped onto Niall.

"I'm—I can't explain how happy I am for you two," Liam said, smiling at him.

Louis grinned and sighed happily. "I'm glad that it's finally—I like being able to say it's Harry Styles-Tomlinson, y'know? Instead of just Styles. It's… I like that."

"I can't wait 'til the day it's Niall Horan-Payne," Liam said before he was thinking—luckily, Niall and Harry were too busy laughing at all the cheesy jokes Niall had been holding in, that they didn't hear him.

Louis heard it, though. His face broke out in a thousand watt smile and he nodded. Liam looked nervous then, but Louis put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "He does look pretty fit in a tux, yeah?" he whispered in Liam's ear. "As do you. I think… Oh, Christ, that'll be great."

Liam nodded. Niall looked great dressed in a suit, so different from his usual, casual outfit. Niall caught them staring and stuck his tongue out at them, looking like the teenager he was when Louis and Harry had first met them.

"What are you two staring at?" he asked. He pointed to Harry. "Look at him, Li. All dressed up in a tux with an official ring!" He ruffled the brunette's hair affectionately, making Harry laugh.

"So what are you gonna call him now?" Niall asked Louis. "Babe, still? Or like… honey or dear?" He grinned at Harry, knowing that the younger boy hated both of those nicknames.

"Babe," Harry interrupted. "I refuse to be a 'honey' or a 'dear'."

"Whatever you say, dear," Louis said.

Liam smiled softly as they embraced, heading to the car, painted with Just Married and hearts. He held Niall's hand when he came over to stand beside him.

"Harry told me he wished Zayn could have been here," Niall said once the car had driven off.

"I'm sure we all wanted him here," Liam said.

"Yeah, but… Harry told me he'd always pictured Zayn like, trashing his wedding or whatever. I guess. He said he thought Zayn would have gotten drunker than piss and said something embarrassing at the toast."

"Zayn would have done something like that." Liam put his arm around Niall's shoulder. They headed over to their car, just standing around casually; they weren't ready to go home yet, and they didn't feel like heading back to the airport, either.

Harry's mum, Anne, walked over slowly. She had never met them properly before, only heard stories of them and seen pictures of the whole crew; only Louis had ever met her because Harry was in love with him. So she was being somewhat timid, looking awkward, as though she didn't know what to say or do.

"Um, hello," she said, and she sounded a lot more sure than she looked. "I take it you two are friends of theirs?"

"Yes, ma'am," Liam said. "Are you his mum?"

"Yes." She seemed to relax then, smiling at how calming Liam's tone was—because Liam seemed to have that effect on people. "What are your names?"

"I'm Niall," Niall said with a smile.

"Liam."

Anne nodded. "Yes, I've heard about you. How long have you known him?"

"Since we were about sixteen, maybe?" Niall said, looking to Liam.

"Yeah, that's about right," the brunette agreed.

Anne stuck her hand out then. "I'm sorry," she said quickly. "My name's Anne." She shook their hands, and then stood looking uncomfortable again. "Um, the wedding was beautiful, wasn't it?"

"Very," Niall agreed.

Anne crossed her arms, causing her dress to ruffle. "I've never been to Ireland, until today," she said. "It's quite beautiful."

"Niall was born here," Liam said. "Well, not here, so to speak—Mullingar, actually—but."

Anne smiled at them. "I honestly can't wait to get home. I… Harry's father is still having a bit of a hard time with him loving Lou. But that's…" She shook her head. "Well, I'll be seeing you two, yeah? I need to go say goodbye to the other guests." She sent them one last smile before she turned and walked away, heading toward another group of people.

After a while Liam finally took them back to the airport, catching some seats on the last flight. They slept most of the flight, enjoying the new peace and quiet—Harry and Louis had almost gotten them in trouble on the flight there because they had been so loud and excited.

They got home at about 10 o'clock the next night, exhausted. Liam felt icky since he couldn't shower on the flight, and the hotel room they'd gotten didn't have a bathtub. He immediately headed to the shower, stripping out of his shirt and trousers on his way down the hall. Niall quietly followed him once he figured out what Liam planned on doing, stripping off his own shirt once he stepped into the bathroom.

"Would you wanna…" He trailed off, just looking at Liam, and the brunette nodded, turning the showerhead on. While he adjusted the temperature, Niall finished stepping out of his clothes.

"Hold on," Liam said when he tried to get in. He waited until the water was comfortably warm and then looked back to the blonde.

"This good?"

Niall reached a hand under the water and nodded, and then they both stepped in. Liam groaned when the water hit him; it had been an uncomfortable flight and an even more uncomfortable hotel night, and the drive home wasn't entirely great either, so the pound of the water felt good on his skin. Niall leaned against him, sighing contently.

They relaxed after that, just helping each other wash off. Liam washed Niall's hair, and Niall returned the favor, humming some tune that Liam didn't know. Liam ran his hands across Niall's chest when he was finished, feeling his body react as he pressed kisses to his neck, licking along his pulse.

Niall let out a breath and chuckled. "Shower sex?" he said, moving his hips just enough to get his cock to brush Liam's stomach. Liam groaned, reaching down to loosely wrap his fingers around Niall. The blonde's eyes slid closed, and he couldn't help the little sound that escaped his throat.

"Let me," he suddenly whispered, sounding like a plea. He dropped to his knees, level with Liam's cock, and started to stroke him, sliding his hand up and down Liam's hardening cock. The shower water made it slick, and he leaned forward and sucked him down his throat. Liam fell forward, bracing his arms against the shower wall. When he felt Niall throat clench around him he moaned lowly.

Niall sucked fiercely, practically worshiping Liam's cock until Liam finally pulled him up and off, kissing him. Niall's eyes were cloudy with lust and Liam reached over and turned the shower off. They headed to the bedroom, not even worried about the wet footprints they were leaving on the floor.

They fell onto the bed, tangled together and kissing passionately. Liam reached down and squeezed Niall's ass, and the younger boy spread his legs, moaning when Liam started to tease his hole. When he finally started to finger him, thrusting two fingers in and out of him, Niall immediately started begging for Liam's cock.

"Please, Li, fuck me—I can't—please!"

Liam chuckled. "I think I'll just keep up with this," he said. "Finger you, see if you'll cum again."

Niall shook his head; he wanted Liam's cock, damn it. He couldn't keep himself from pushing his ass back into Liam's hand. "At least—give me another, or something, please."

Liam started to scissor his fingers and shook his head. He continued to stroke at Niall's prostate, feeling the way he twitched and shook as his pleasure grew. Finally it was too much and Niall was coming, crying out as he spurted between them.

Liam pulled his fingers out, smiling at him proudly. "I fucking love that," he said, his voice a little deeper with arousal. "Do you realize how hot that is?"

Niall only panted, spreading his legs again. He looked at Liam, eyes wet, and breathed out another plea: "Fuck me, Li, please."

Liam kissed him gently. "You're oversensitive right now, baby."

"I don't care!" Niall insisted. He reached down and held his legs apart, giving Liam full view and access to him. Liam could see his hole, see how it twitched the longer he looked at it. "I just want you to—please."

Liam nodded, silent, trusting Niall's want. He positioned himself between Niall's legs and began to push in, feeling Niall clench down on him. He was so fucking tight that Liam's vision went a little fuzzy and he groaned with pleasure. Niall cried out; he was oversensitive and it actually kind of hurt a little bit, but he loved it. He locked his ankles behind Liam's back, reaching up to pull him closer. Their lips sealed and tongues began to dance as Liam started thrusting, nice and slow, knowing that Niall was overloaded.

Niall was hard again, leaking between their bodies. He whimpered as Liam began to pump him, slow and lazy stroke, rubbing his thumb across the head even though he knew it would hurt him. Niall clung to him, pressing hot open mouthed kisses to Liam's neck and collarbone. He panted harshly when he felt his climax approaching again, and for a moment he worried—what if this was too much?

"Li, I—gonna cum—what if—" He couldn't finish his sentences because then he was coming, just a short, almost dry twitch, and he was crying out loudly, his fingernails digging into Liam's shoulders. Liam kept thrusting, watching in awe as Niall's face twisted up—it obviously hurt, but he was still moving with Liam, trying to give Liam the most pleasure he could give.

Liam bit into his bottom lip as he came, his thrusts growing erratic as his cum filled Niall deep. He waited for a moment, catching his breath, and then he pulled out, cuddling Niall up into his arms. He kissed the blonde's forehead.

"You okay, babe? That didn't hurt too much, did it?"

Niall kissed him on the chin, giving him a small smile. "That was great," he said breathlessly.

Liam nuzzled his hair. "I love you."

If Niall thought it would be easy to keep his reappearing heart problems from Liam, he was wrong. He got winded at most everything, and sex was becoming more difficult to recover from. Liam started to notice this, and, being Liam, he brought it up.

"Babe," he said over dinner one day, "I've noticed."

"Noticed what?" Niall asked through a mouthful of potatoes.

"You're getting… How's your heart been?" Liam was looking right at him.

"It's been fine?" Niall said slowly. "I mean, yeah, sure, it's been, y'know, acting up. But like… it's no big deal, yeah?" He set his fork down, studying Liam. He knew where this was going—he always knew with Liam.

"I'm taking you to the doctor tomorrow," Liam said.

"Oh, come on, Li," Niall whined. "I'll be fine! I am fine! I've went to the doctor already this year."

"So you'll know what to expect," Liam teased. "I'm not gonna lose you. Just to make sure nothing's wrong, okay? Please don't argue with me."

Niall sighed. He didn't want to go to the doctor—he'd spent too much time at the doctor after his heart stopped as a teenager. It would just cause more stress for the both of them, and Niall didn't want that—didn't want to put Liam through that again.

He didn't complain anymore, though, just nodded and continued eating.

When they went to bed that night, Liam held Niall close him, whispering sweet things in his ear and kissing him lazily. When Niall reached down to grasp Liam's cock, to take things further, Liam stopped him.

"Just this," he whispered.

Niall sat uncomfortably on the exam bed, eyes wide. He bit his lip and looked at Liam helplessly. "I hate this," he said. "Why'd you have to do this to me?"

Liam laughed. "You'll be fine. It's just a checkup. Be nice."

Niall frowned and started to grumble under his breath until the doctor came in. He was a tall, clean-cut man with dark eyes and an uncanny resemblance to Zayn—so much so that Niall did a double take and blinked.

"Niall Horan?" the doctor raised a brow at the blonde. "Nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Armstrong."

"Hi," Niall managed to say. He always seemed to freeze up around strangers.

"So what are we here for today?" Armstrong sat down in the swivel stool, reaching into his pocket for a pen. He scribbled onto Niall's chart and looked back up at him.

"Well, he's had heart problems even since he was about twelve or so," Liam said, taking over since he knew Niall would have problems with talking.

"Describe."

"His heart stopped once when he was twelve, and once again when he was fifteen," Liam said, his voice tight. "He had to be shocked back to life, actually."

"I see," Armstrong said, not unkindly, jotting down this new information. "Anything else? What kind of diet do you have?"

"We try to eat healthy," Liam said.

"You two live together?"

"Yes." Liam grinned.

"What is your relation to him?"

"Boyfriend," Liam said proudly. "Love. Partner. Whatever you call it."

Armstrong glanced up at them. "Oh?" He didn't appear to be judging, just genuinely… impressed. "How long?"

"Since we were about nineteen."

"Oh, yes. When is your birthday, Niall?" Armstrong asked, having remembered.

"September 13, 1993." Niall looked so small on the bed, like a small child. Liam reached to him and took his hand reassuringly.

"M'kay. Any allergies?"

"None that I'm aware of," Niall said.

"Sexually active?"

"Yes," Liam answered for him, seeing the blush on Niall's face, and Armstrong grinned at them.

He put his pen down and put his stethoscope in his ears. He walked over to Niall and listened to his heartbeat for a moment, noting the irregular rhythm. He had him breathe deeply and could hear how Niall's lungs seemed to crackle with each breath.

"Any difficulty breathing?" he asked.

"I get winded real easy," Niall said.

Armstrong nodded thoughtfully. He checked Niall's blood pressure, jotted down the high 145 over 95 and motioned for Niall to lay on his back. He lifted the blonde's shirt, rubbing his fingertips into his belly. He then hooked them down into Niall's boxers, checking for a pulse there. Niall jumped at this, and Armstrong laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Just checking your pulse here, mate," he said. He pushed Niall's shirt back down and helped him sit up.

"Are you nervous or anything?" he asked. When Niall nodded, he hummed to himself. "Well, okay. Your pulse and heartbeat are irregular, and your blood pressure is high," he said as he wrote on Niall's file. "It also sounds like you may have a respiratory infection. Come back next Thursday and we'll do some tests, okay?"

"Okay." Niall nodded. He stood from the bed awkwardly, and Armstrong smiled at them as they left.

"Well, that was worthless," Niall grumbled as they walked out of the hospital. "Didn't help at all."

"Better safe than sorry."

Niall didn't say anything to this; just kept on walking with his eyes trained to the blacktop. After he'd climbed into the passenger seat of the car, he looked over to Liam. He watched him as he put the key in the ignition and turned the engine on.

"So you're… not ashamed to be dating me?" His voice was soft.

"Of course not!" Liam looked at him confused. "Why would I be? You're amazing."

"I just thought that maybe… y'know, you wouldn't want people to know," Niall said. "Since we're both guys and all that."

Liam frowned. "Just because we're both men doesn't mean we can't be together," he said. "You're not ashamed of me, now are you?"

"No, of course not," Niall said quickly.

"Well then why are you surprised?" Liam smiled just a little.

"I don't know. I just figured… well, y'know. It's not every day that a doctor comes to his office to find two men confessing they're a couple." Niall grinned at him. "I'm glad, though. I love you."

"I love you, too," Liam said, leaning over and sealing their lips together. "Where do you wanna go to eat?"

"Nandos!" Niall's eyes lit up and Liam couldn't help but smile at him.

"To Nandos we go."

The next Thursday they returned to the doctors; Niall was trying to remain calm, worrying his lower lip while they were waiting for Armstrong or whatever new doctor he might have to come in. Liam sat all slouched over in his chair, humming a tune that Niall didn't recognize. They were both tense; they didn't know what the tests would be like, or what anything would end up leading to. What if something was seriously wrong with Niall? What if Liam lost him again?

"Hey, calm down," Liam said softly. "It'll be fine. Think positive, yeah?"

"Call Lou," Niall pleaded. "Please? Just so I can, like, hear his voice."

"Sure," Liam said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, dialing the older boy's number. He handed Niall the phone and sat back.

"Hey, Lou. Yeah, we're at the doctor's now." Niall laughed then at something Louis said. "Yeah, I'm seriously nervous as shit right now. Uh, we're here for my heart. Li noticed there was something wrong with me." He grinned at Liam shyly. "Yeah, he is a pretty great guy."

Liam smiled at him. Niall blew him a kiss, giggling like a schoolgirl when Liam pretended to catch it in his hands. He was quiet as he listened to Louis, and then he was laughing loudly. Liam gave him a confused look and coughed as a warning to quiet down.

"Ssh, not so loud," he said with a chuckled. Niall grinned in apology and listened to Louis again. The older boy must have been saying something pretty interesting because Niall was just listening to him, so quiet, that Liam honestly wanted to hear it too—or at least know what it was being saying.

"Well, that's cute," Niall said to Louis. "I'm sure he'll love it. Would I love it? Yeah, I'd like it. Why?"

Armstrong walked in then, looking at Niall when he saw him on the phone.

"Uh, hold that thought, Lou. Doc's here. I'll have to call you back. All right, see ya later." He hung up the call and looked at his doctor. "Um, hello."

"Good morning," Armstrong said with a smile. "How have things been? Anymore episodes?"

"Nope." Niall shook his head.

Armstrong nodded. "Let's get started then, shall we?" He stepped closer to the blonde, motioning for him to lay on his back. Niall did, looking to Liam in worry. The older boy gave him a reassuring smile.

Armstrong poked around his chest and stomach for a moment, then got the stethoscope. He listened to Niall's heart again, nodding his head.

"From what I can tell," he said, "it sounds like arrhythmia."

"Arrhythmia?" Niall repeated, cocking an eyebrow.

"Your heartbeat is irregular," Armstrong explained. "It can cause fatigue and nausea, as well as dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath. Have you had any of these symptoms?"

"Yeah, the shortness of breath," Niall said. "And sometimes I'm dizzy and stuff."

Armstrong nodded. "That sounds about right then," he said. "It doesn't seem to be too serious right now, but we'll need to keep an eye on it just to be sure."

Niall let out a sigh of relief at this. "If I end up back in here 'cause my heart shits out on me again, I'll just cry," he said.

Armstrong chuckled. Liam didn't. He tensed when Niall mentioned being back in here—memories of the blonde lying motionless, of his body jumping as the doctors restarted his heart. It was too much.

"We won't let you end up back in here," Armstrong said. "Just call and let us know if you start having any problems with anything, okay?"

"All right," Niall said, standing from the bed. He gave Armstrong a smile as they walked out. When he and Liam walked down the hall, he noticed just how quiet Liam was being. Niall pressed the down button for the elevator.

"You okay, Li? Awful quiet."

Liam didn't even hear him. He was lost in his thoughts; all those damn memories of Niall, so close to slipping from Liam's hold, so fragile. Liam could feel himself close to breaking, struggling to keep himself under control.

Niall was still waiting for an answer when the doors opened, and Liam was quick to push him inside. He didn't even let the doors close before he was kissing Niall. Niall gasped and could only try to kiss back as Liam's tongue found its way into his mouth. Liam was squeezing him so tight that he couldn't hardly breathe and was forced to break the kiss.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, panting. He looked Liam in the eye.

"When you said that," Liam said, "I couldn't—I don't ever want that."

"Said what?" Niall asked, cocking an eyebrow. "I don't know what you're talking about, babe."

"About you being back in here," Liam said, voice tight. "I can't—I can't handle that, please. Just—don't say stuff like that, yeah? I don't…"

"All right, I'm sorry," Niall said softly. He hugged Liam close, reaching a hand out to press the lobby button. The elevator began to move then, and they still remained in their embrace, Liam's face buried in Niall's neck. Niall rubbed his back slowly, voice muffled by Liam's shoulder as he murmured apologies and comforting words to him.

Liam was halfway to crying by the time they reached the lobby. Oddly no one had gotten on the elevator the whole twelve floors they rode down, so they had a minute or so for themselves. They walked out of the lobby hand-in-hand, walking to Liam's car in silence.

Niall's phone rang—the ringtone he had set for Louis. He answered it, reaching out to take Liam's hand again when the older boy got in the driver's seat. "Hey, Lou."

'So what's the diagnosis?'

"Arrhythmia," Niall said. "Dr. Armstrong said it's not too serious, but we'll have to keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't get to that point. But I guess everything else is good."

'So no scares are in store for us?' Louis was teasing and Niall had to smile.

"No scares," he said. "I'll call you later, all right? Li and I are gonna go out to eat somewhere. We'll stop by your place if you want?"

'Yeah, sounds good. Harry says hi and he loves you.'

"I love him too," Niall said with a chuckle.

'All right, well, see you in a little bit. Love you, Niall.'

"I love you too," Niall said, looking over to Liam. "See ya later." He hung up and smiled at him. "Where do you wanna go to eat? Your choice this time."

Liam shrugged. He still looked upset about what had been said, and Niall frowned.

"Wanna just go home then? Eat in?"

"We'll have to go back out to Lou's." Liam voice was bitter as he said Louis' name and Niall's frown deepened.

"What about eating at Louis' then?" He was running out of suggestions here. He bit his lip, tilting his head to the side in an almost apologetic look.

"Hmm." Liam turned left to go to Louis'. "You'll need to call him and let him know."

Niall only nodded and sent Louis a text instead.

From: Nialler  
Hey Lou. We're coming over. Change in plans.

"Anything you're not telling me?" Niall asked. He looked over at Liam. "If you're still upset about what I said, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to be, y'know, a serious thing. I was just joking, really."

"It's not that," Liam said. "It's just… Nothing."

"Hey, no, don't do that," Niall said. "Come on. Tell me."

"I'm just being stupid."

"Hey." Niall took his hand again. "You're not stupid. Nothing you say has ever made me think you're stupid, okay? Now tell me. I'm not gonna judge you, you know that."

Liam sighed and squeezed Niall's hand. "It's just… I don't know. I can't help but feel… jealous, I guess, of Louis."

"Why?" Niall didn't sound upset, really, just confused.

"I don't know," Liam confessed. "I just… You two seem really close. And I…"

"Are you kidding me?" Niall chuckled then. "We're close, yeah. But Li"—he held onto Liam's hand a bit tighter—"I love you. You're the one person I'm closest to. I trust you with everything about me. You know everything there is to know about me. Just 'cause I'm a little close with someone doesn't mean anything. If you're thinking there's something going on with me and Lou, there isn't. Trust me."

"I don't think that," Liam said. "I just—I wish I could have been that close to you, you know?"

Niall full out laughed then, his head tilted back. "You've got to be joking. You are this close to me. You've been this close to—no, strike that. You've always been closer than this." He turned a bit in his seat. "Come on, Li. You've known me since we were ten-years-old. You've been my best friend since we were ten, and I've been in love with you since we were fifteen. Hell, I've probably been in love with you my whole life I just didn't know it because I didn't know what love was."

"Stop it," Liam said. "You'll make me get all sappy."

Niall grinned. He leaned across the car to kiss Liam's cheek. "I love you," he whispered, "and only you. No one else. Okay? You'll always be my better half." He bit his lip for a moment. "Please don't be jealous. You're the only one for me, okay? Louis's got Harry anyway."

"I know, but still." Liam sighed. "I'm sorry, Niall."

"Hey, don't be," Niall said. "I'm glad we talked about it instead of letting it escalate, yeah?"

"Yeah," Liam agreed, looking over at him long enough to give him a small smile. "Just us, right?"

"Just us," Niall promised.

Louis opened the door, his hair soaked and his body still wet, a towel wrapped around his thin waist. His eyes were wide and he looked like he'd just got done running. "Shit, you guys got here fast," he panted, letting them in. He gave Niall a crooked grin as he walked in, which Liam didn't miss.

"Harry just got in the shower," Louis said, shaking his head. The water from his hair flicked out, splattering onto the nearest window and Niall. The blonde let out an offended noise, wiping at his arm. Louis just grinned at him.

"As you can tell, I just got out," Louis continued.

Liam sat down on the sofa, leaning his head back. He closed his eyes and sighed, trying to tune out the way Louis was practically flirting with Niall. The two were giggling in the kitchen, making a ruckus as Niall tried to get out some pots and a skillet.

"Lou, come on. I'm gonna try to cook here," he whined.

"I'm just trying to help," Louis said, and Liam could hear the grin on his face.

"Oh my god, Lou, put your towel back on!" Niall suddenly yelled. "I don't want to see that!"

"Oh, come on, you've got one too!" Louis laughed and walked down the hall to put some clothes on.

Liam looked over to Niall then, frowning lightly. Niall frowned as well. "Just friends," he mouthed. "I swear."

"I know," Liam said. "But fuck."

Louis returned shortly, wearing sweat pants and a baggy long-sleeved shirt. His hair was still damp and he rubbed his head into Niall's side, leaving behind a wet spot. Niall shook his head as he went to the fridge, grabbing some eggs. He walked back over to the stove, placing the eggs on the counter. He reached into the cabinet for a bowl to crack them into.

"Breakfast work, babe?" he called out to Liam.

"Yeah, that'll be fine."

Harry walked in then, dressed in just boxers and a towel draped over his shoulders. He rubbed it through his hair to try and dry it out. "Hey, Li. Hey, Niall."

"Hi, Hazza," Niall said looking over his shoulder at him.

Harry grinned at Liam. "Why didn't you turn on the telly, mate?"

"Never thought about it," Liam said with a shrug.

Harry sat down beside him, reaching to grab the remote off the coffee table. He flicked on the television, propping his feet up on the table. Liam didn't pay any attention; he was too busy listening in on Niall and Louis' conversation. The two were starting to bicker again, something about the way Niall was trying to flip the eggs over.

"Oh, for God's sake, Niall!" Louis said. "That's not how you do it!"

"This is how I do it, so cock it," Niall snapped. "Do you want eggs or not?"

"I want good eggs," Louis teased.

Liam closed his eyes when he heard Niall start giggling and begging Louis to quit tickling him. Liam bit back the jealousy he was feeling; he reminded himself that Louis never got to see Niall sprawled out on a bed, naked and flushed and panting, his hair a mess as he begged Liam to take him. That was something only Liam got to see and he knew it.

Harry eventually dozed off beside Liam, leaning against him as he snored softly. Liam didn't mind, really; he didn't want to wake Harry, so that kept him from jumping up and causing a scene with Louis. He didn't hate the older boy—he'd never hate Louis, if he thought about it—nor was he mad at him. He just felt almost betrayed, and hurt, that Louis would flirt with Niall when he knew—had known since the beginning—that Niall was Liam's.

Not to mention the fact that Louis was married to Harry.

By the time Niall had finished making the food—eggs, bacon, and fried potatoes (which Louis had teased, "Potatoes! Potatoes! I'm Irish, potatoes!")—Liam was so far gone in his thoughts that he didn't even hear Niall call for them to eat.

"Don't tell me they're asleep," Louis said, walking over the couch. "Hey! Food's done!"

Harry started to stir, mumbling something groggily as he tried to sit up by himself. Liam came back to reality, hooking an arm around Harry's waist to keep him from falling as they stood up.

"You were asleep for barely even ten minutes, Haz," Louis said. "How are you this tired?"

"I don't even know," Harry mumbled. He slowly shuffled over to the table where Niall had set out four platefuls of eggs, bacon, and potatoes. He slumped down into a chair, reaching for his fork. He took a bite of the potatoes, making a pleased sound. "This is really good, Ni."

"Try the eggs," Louis encouraged, sending Niall a teasing glare. Harry stuffed a forkful of the scrambled eggs into his mouth and chewed. He looked at Niall and nodded.

"Ha!" Niall shouted, pointing a finger at Louis. "I told you! I make good eggs!"

"Hmph." Louis started shoveling his food into his mouth, missing the semi-glare Liam was sending him. Niall saw it, though, and reached over to pat Liam's hand.

They started eating in silence, just enjoying the meal Niall had fixed. Harry managed to wake up and soon the table was filled with chatter—mainly from him and Louis—and they were both cracking lame jokes about lame topics. Soon Niall joined in, cackling loudly at most everything Louis said—which sent a pang of jealousy through Liam.

"Oh," Niall said after a moment of laughter, calming himself down. He sent Harry a look and the younger boy stifled the giggle he had just been about to release. "I went to the doctor today."

"Oh, yeah," Harry said. "How'd that go? Louis told me you'd went."

"Arrhythmia," Niall said with a shrug. "Apparently that's what I got. Nothing too serious or anything, but I guess we'll need to keep an eye on it just to be safe."

"I'm glad it's not anything bad," Harry sighed in relief. "I was half-expecting you to deliver, like, some serious diagnosis."

Niall chuckled at that. "No, we're good," he said, looking to Liam. The brunette had been quiet for most of the dinner, minus a few laughs, and Niall could tell something was wrong. He said nothing, however; just continued eating.

After they were all finished, Louis started to put the dishes in the sink. Niall stood up with his and Liam's plates, walking over to the oldest boy.

"I'll help you with the dishes," he said.

Louis shook his head at the offer. "It's getting late," he said. "You two should get home, yeah?"

"You sure?" Niall set the plates in the sink.

"I'm sure," Louis said, smiling at him.

They hugged tightly, and then they went through the good-bye routine—Louis patted Liam on the back, Harry hugged Niall, and then he hugged Liam—and they were off. The car ride home was relatively quiet, save for Niall's apologies for the way he and Louis had acted together. Liam brushed it off, accepting Niall's apologies without much thought. He could tell how upset Niall was getting at his reactions, but he didn't do anything.

"It's okay, Niall. Really. I'm not mad or anything. It's perfectly fine."

"No, Li, please," Niall said, voice going slightly higher as he grew more desperate, "please don't be like that. I don't—no, I didn't—we were just being—"

"Calm down," Liam said softly. "It's fine, Niall. Seriously."

"Are you sure? Because if you're gonna end up using this against me in an argument or whatever… I don't think I could…" Niall bit his lip as he looked over at Liam, nervous and concerned. Liam sent him a smile, and Niall visibly relaxed.

"Really, Niall, it's fine. Don't worry so much. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't get so jealous, and I'm trying." Liam reached over with one hand, and Niall laced their fingers together.

"We're good?" he whispered.

"We're better than good," Liam promised.

"I think we should invite Haz and Lou over," Niall said nonchalantly one Monday evening.

"Why is that?" Liam asked, raising an eyebrow at him. They'd been watching television, lazing around the house since they both had the day off from work. Niall was cuddled against Liam's side, his arms wrapped loosely around Liam's torso.

"Well, maybe not today, but like—Friday, maybe?" He looked up at Liam sheepishly, and Liam grinned.

"That's my birthday," he pointed out, as though Niall didn't know. "Is this some sort of party thing you're planning."

"Maybe," Niall drawled out. "Come on. You're turning twenty-eight. That calls for your best mates, right?"

"Well, I can see that," Liam said. "But what if I just want to spend the day with you? What if that's all I want?" He snaked a hand around Niall's waist, pressing a kiss to his neck.

"Is that really all you want?"

"That's really all I want," Liam murmured.

"Then that's what you'll get." Niall kissed him lightly.

"Happy birthday, Li." Niall pressed a kiss to Liam's throat, kissing a trail down to his collarbone, sucking hard enough to leave a dark mark. Liam sighed, a smile on his face as Niall's fingers tickled along his sides. Niall pushed Liam's shirt up and off, leaning down to suckle on one of Liam's nipples. He slowly trailed down until he was level with Liam's crotch.

"You want me to suck you?" he asked.

"Please," Liam whispered. "No teasing."

"All right." Niall peeled Liam's boxers down, immediately wrapping his lips around Liam's cock. He sucked him down to the back of his throat, eyes watering up as it slid down his throat a little. Niall made a choking noise—it had been a while since he had deep-throated Liam, as much as he hated to admit, so he wasn't as used to it as he had been—and he looked up at Liam as he raised up until only the tip was left in his mouth. He sucked fiercely, twirling his tongue around the head, before he sucked him back down. Liam gasped and moaned, tangling his fingers into Niall's hair. He pushed the blonde's head down until Niall's nose was pressed to his groin, loving the way Niall tried to cough around him.

Niall gave him a mind-blowing blowjob, making Liam cum hard enough to see stars. Liam thanked him by rolling them over until Niall was beneath him, then flipping the blonde onto his stomach. He instructed Niall to raise onto his hands and knees—"Push your arse in the air a bit, babe"—and then he'd bent his head down and pressed his tongue to Niall's hole.

Niall moaned harshly, his hole clenching beneath Liam's tongue. Liam lapped around Niall's hole a few times, teasing him, loving the way Niall moaned, and then he pushed his tongue inside. Niall's arms gave out underneath him at the feeling and he fell face-first into the mattress, panting and grasping at the sheets. Liam kept at it, swirling his tongue and plunging it in and out until Niall was crying out loudly, whimpering with need.

"Li, please, can you—I need—" Niall was begging, desperate for a release. His cock was hard, swollen and red, standing up against his belly, leaking with pre-cum. He pushed his ass back onto Liam's mouth, trying to get more but unable to.

Liam redoubled his efforts, trying to make Niall cum from just his tongue. Niall began to tremble as his climax neared ever so slowly, and then he let out a cry as he came, spurting onto the sheets below him. He collapsed then, barely managing to roll out of the way of the wet spot. Liam curled himself around Niall, cuddling in close.

Just as they were starting to drift off to sleep, Liam's phone went off. It was all the way across the room in the pocket of his trousers, so Liam just let it ring—knowing it was Louis and Harry doing their midnight-birthday-calls that they'd been doing since they were eighteen. After several moments his phone shut off, only to start right back up. He sighed, rolling off the bed to walk over and get it.

"Maybe if I'm slow enough he'll give up."

"I doubt that," Niall chuckled sleepily. "He'll keep calling 'til you give in and answer."

"That's probably more likely," Liam said, fetching his phone and answering it on the last ring.

'Were you 'busy' or something?' Louis laughed on the other line. His tone was teasing, and Liam knew he knew. 'Happy birthday, Li.'

"Thanks, Lou," Liam said with a smile. Every year was the same it seemed; Louis and Harry would call at exactly 12:03 a.m. just to wish him happy birthday, and Niall would spend the whole day making sure Liam was as happy as he could be. Liam loved the routine—it was so like them to do stuff like that for him.

'Happy birthday, Liam!' Harry's deeper voice rang out in the background.

"Thanks, Hazza," Liam said. "You two must stay up every year for this, I'm guessing."

'For your birthday?' Louis was smiling on the other end and it was evident in his voice. 'But of course we do! Wouldn't want to miss the chance to tell you happy birthday when you should be asleep, now would we?'

"I appreciate it, guys," Liam said softly. He looked over to Niall, finding the younger man already asleep, a blissed-out smile on his face. Liam couldn't help but smile at him.

'So, is Ni asleep yet?'

"Just fell asleep, actually."

'Oho,' Louis scoffed. 'Birthday sex, I take it? Wore him out, did ya.'

Liam grinned. "Every year."

'Nice!' Louis chuckled. 'I'll let you go cuddle him up now, yeah? Sleep well, Liam.'

"You guys, too." Liam hung up and crawled over to Niall on the bed, curling back around him protectively.

Liam woke up at 8:38, groggy and cranky, the way he always woke up. He climbed out of bed slowly so as not to wake Niall, and headed to the shower. They were both still naked, and Liam felt gross, having fell asleep all sweaty and icky from sex. He turned on the water, adjusting the temperature to just right and stepped under the spray, sighing happily. He reached up with his hands, tilting his head back and closing his eyes as he let the water run through his fringe.

Niall woke up at the sound of the running water. He groaned as he sat up, stretching with a loud yelp. His mind was still hazy with sleep, his vision blurry. He stood up slowly, stumbling as he walked into the bathroom. He peeked around the shower curtain.

"Morning, babe," he said, voice all rumbly.

"Good morning," Liam said, wiping some water from his face so he could open his eyes. He stepped to the side, giving Niall some room to step inside. The blonde closed the curtain behind him, looking at Liam with a smile.

"You're finally twenty-eight," he said thoughtfully. "How's it feel?" He was teasing, Liam could tell.

"Still feels like twenty-seven," Liam said. He put a hand on Niall's waist, watching as the water cascaded down his body. Niall suddenly felt shy, a blush on his cheeks. He bit his lip, flicking his hair out of his face as it got soaked and fell onto his forehead.

"So, last night," he mumbled, "what you did…"

"Did you not like it?" Liam asked, rubbing his thumb across Niall's hip bone.

"No, I loved it," Niall admitted. "I really loved it, actually. It felt great—amazing. Like… If you wanted to do it again, I would—Fuck, I'd love that."

Liam grinned at him, pulling him closer. He kissed Niall's neck, licking at the water on his skin. "I can do it whenever you want me to," he murmured.

Niall squirmed in his arms, cock starting to stiffen between them just at the thought. He nipped at the flesh of Liam's neck, pressing a little kiss to the tiny birthmark there. Liam pressed his own hips forward, letting their slowly hardening cocks slide against each other. Niall let out a soft moan, bringing his arms up to wrap around Liam's neck.

Liam reached down with both hands, squeezing Niall's ass teasingly. His fingers rubbed against his hole, applying a light pressure. Niall spread his legs a little wider, trying to give Liam better access. The shower water helped Liam's fingers as he pressed on inside, followed quickly by a second. Niall's legs trembled as Liam worked his fingers inside, stretching Niall open for his cock.

Niall didn't beg this time; he only moaned and gripped onto Liam's shoulders when he felt his knees go weak. Liam kept pushing his hips forward, allowing their cocks to brush over each other repeatedly. He finally deemed Niall ready and pulled his fingers out, turning him around so his ass was pushed back, giving him full access. He teased Niall with the head of his cock, waiting until Niall was pushing back against him, trying to get him inside.

"Wait, wait," Niall suddenly said, reaching over to turn the water off. "We'll waste all the warm water."

Liam grinned, and then he was pressing in, groaning loudly as he was encased in Niall's tight heat. His fingers tightened on Niall's hips, and he stilled to give him some time to adjust.

"You're so tight," Liam whispered as he pulled out, pushing back in slowly. Niall clenched down on him, pushing back against him every time he pushed in. "There you go, baby. Just like that."

That's how he made love to Niall, nice and slow, drinking in every moan and whimper and gasp that Niall made. When Niall came, he tightened around Liam almost enough for it to be painful, pulling Liam's orgasm from him.

They started the shower back on, washing off. Liam helped Niall clean himself, using his fingers to open him up and get the cum out. That embarrassed Niall, but he didn't complain and kissed Liam sloppily when they finished.

"So, what do you want to do today? We can go anywhere you want," Niall said. He was pulling his t-shirt over his head, shaking his head to fix his hair sloppily—shaking it out so it was laid every which way. He looked to Liam, waiting for the answer.

"Well, I suppose we could go out today," Liam said with a shrug.

"Oh, I got you something," Niall said, smiling and blushing as he reached into his dresser drawer and pulled out a small, velvet covered box. He held it out for Liam to take, biting his lip as he opened it.

Liam stared at the necklace inside; a simple silver chain with a tag, shaped like a heart, attached to it. The words I love you were carved into the tag in a beautiful font. He didn't say anything for several moments, which made Niall panic. Had he gotten him the wrong thing? Did Liam not like it?

"I know you're a man and, y'know, necklaces aren't manly things—they're for girls and all, but I just—I thought, y'know, since I don't have the money to buy you anything big, really. But I thought you'd like it—if you don't, I can take it back and get you something else—"

Liam cut off his rambling by hugging him tightly, burying his face in the crook of Niall's neck. "I love it. I love you."

"Are you sure?" Niall laughed uncomfortably. "You didn't seem too happy with it…"

"No, no," Liam said. "I really love it. It's just… I didn't think you'd get me anything—I didn't think you'd gotten me anything."

"I'll always get you something!" Niall said, grinning at him as he pulled away. "You're my baby."

Liam grinned cheekily at that, crinkles forming around his eyes. "Cheesy. I love it."

"I try. So where are we going?"

"Why not just go to Phil's Place?" Liam suggested.

"You don't want anywhere fancy?" Niall raised a brow. "'cause if you're wanting to go somewhere else, we can go there. Doesn't matter to me."

"Nah, that little run down place is good," Liam said. "Nothing too fancy."

Once they finished getting dressed—which had taken a surprisingly long time because Liam stole the trousers Niall had picked out and hid them under the bed just to see his reaction—they left for the ten minute drive to their local restaurant. Louis called, having apparently showed up with Harry at the house right after Liam and Niall had left.

'Are you kidding me, Liam? Out of all the time in the world you could have left, you chose now?'

"You never even called! How was I supposed to know you were coming over?"

'Touché. But still. Where are you going? We'll just meet you there.'

"Phil's Place."

'That shitty place? Why? The food there sucks!' Louis whined.

"I quite like their sandwiches," Liam defended.

'Anyone can make a sandwich,' Louis said, but Liam could hear his car start up in the background. 'We'll see you in ten or so, then. Save me and Haz some seats, yeah?'

"All right. See you then." Liam hung up and looked at Niall. "Looks like we're gonna have company."

"Oh, Lou's actually gonna come?" Niall stuck his lower lip out, raising his eyebrows, and nodded. "Not bad."

Liam breathed deeply. "He'll probably complain about it the whole time."

"Probably," Niall agreed with a smile. "Complains about everything, doesn't he?"

"Just about everything," Liam said fondly.

Louis complained a lot—they all complained a lot, but Louis was the worst. He reminded Liam of a child, always throwing a fit when things didn't go his way, even though Louis was almost 30-years-old already. It made Liam smile, though; Harry had put up with Louis' childish ways for almost ten years. They'd been married for six years, and Liam knew that he needed to propose to Niall soon—maybe he didn't need to, but he definitely wanted to. Maybe for Niall's birthday here in a couple days…

Liam and Niall got a table for four, and Louis and Harry came through the door five minutes after them. They made a ruckus, practically, at the table—throwing their straw wrappers and napkin pieces at each other until their food came. Harry had drank all of his soda before his sandwich even came, adding to the bill because there wasn't free refills at the restaurant. Louis complained about that, and then complained even more when his sandwich didn't have enough mayo on it.

"Ya see this?" he said, peeling off the bread. "Look at that. There's barely any mayo on here! Who forgets to put mayo on their sandwich?"

"Not everyone likes to drown their food in mayo, Louis," Niall said, glancing up at him from his burger.

"Well, I—" Louis started, but he closed his mouth and just took a bite of his sandwich, grumbling under his breath about the poor service at the restaurant. Niall chuckled at him, looking over at Liam. The birthday boy had a smile on his face.

"I still don't see why you wanted to come here," Louis said once they had finished their meal and were standing in the parking lot. "And I can't believe you didn't try to talk him out of it," he said to Niall.

Niall shrugged. "It's his birthday. He got to pick."

"Yeah, I'm the birthday boy," Liam said. "You should be nicer to me, Lou."

Louis' lips twitched in a crooked grin and he shook his head. He walked over to his car, parked in the space next to Liam's, and opened the back door. He reached inside and pulled out a wrapped box. He held it out, quirking an eyebrow. "We got you something."

"You didn't have to," Liam said, reaching forward slowly to take it. He was blushing—he'd always hated to get presents on his birthday, mainly because he hated being the only one unwrapping something. He slowly ripped the decorative paper off, crumpling it up and tossing it through the back window of Louis' car, earning a playful glare from Louis.

"Oh, Jesus, guys," Liam breathed, taking in the sight of the gift; it was just a small stuffed bear holding a heart with the words Nialler and Li-Lisewed into it. It was so like Louis and Harry to get something like that!

"Are you serious?" Liam couldn't help but laugh then.

"Do you not like it or something?" Louis asked, trying to sound offended but the grin on his face showed everything.

"It's a bit… This is something for Valentine's Day, not my birthday," Liam said. "But, thanks. I appreciate it."

He always appreciated things that Louis did for him—but he still felt that nagging jealousy and anger at Louis for the looks he gave to Niall all the time. It was ridiculous, Liam knew, and he really shouldn't have been having those fucking feelings, but he was.

Louis crossed his arms then and gave him a look. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"About what?"

"I just need to ask you something." Louis tilted his head back, hinting that they should walk away so Niall and Harry couldn't hear, and Liam followed him over to the corner of the parking lot. Liam looked back at Niall, smiling at him, and then he looked at Louis.

"So, what's up?"

"When are you gonna ask Niall the big question?" Louis was being surprisingly serious for Louis Tomlinson, and Liam knew what 'the big question' was immediately.

"Actually, I was planning on asking him on his birthday," Liam said. "Why?"

"You guys have been together for almost ten years, now," Louis whispered. "I don't get what's taking you so long. He loves you—are you afraid he'll say no or something?"

"No, I just—" Liam stopped, because he really didn't know why he hadn't asked Niall to marry him yet; he just didn't know.

"Well, trust me," Louis said, putting his hand on Liam's shoulder, "Niall will say yes, whenever you decide to grow the balls." He grinned at him and patted his shoulder, then started walking back over to the cars. Liam followed him, his eyes glued to Niall.

"Well, I think it's high time we went home, yeah?" Harry suggested, stretching. "Happy birthday, Liam." He hugged the older man, rubbing his hand into the middle of Liam's back.

Liam thought a lot about Louis' question. He didn't have an actual plan—for many reasons. The main reason was because… Well, what if Niall said no? What if Niall didn't want to marry him? What if Niall didn't want to ever get married; what if he just wanted to stay boyfriends for their whole lives? All these thoughts swarmed through Liam's head for the week after his birthday.

Finally, he decided to just take a chance—besides, no one ever found anything by just sitting and thinking what ifs, right? He decided on September 10, three days before Niall's birthday—that way it'd sort of be like an early birthday present. Liam thought it would work, thought it was a great idea. And it was a great idea, but there was only one problem.

Niall's heart stopped on September 9.

He and Liam had been sitting around Louis and Harry's living room, just talking up a storm. Liam had been slightly nervous, since it was so close to being the day, but he didn't let it show—didn't want Niall to know until it was time. He had reached out to take Niall's hand when the blonde had suddenly stopped mid-sentence, his eyes widening.

"Ni? Baby, what's wrong?" Liam asked, voice rising in alarm before he could help himself.

Niall looked at him, and it was like that time when they were fifteen again. He looked so scared and lost. "Li, I can't—I don't—" He gasped, clutching at his chest, and Liam lunged to grab him, keep him upright.

"Lou! Call the ambulance! Now!" he screamed, tears already streaking down his cheeks as he heard Louis rushing around for his cellphone.

Everything after that was a blur. Liam couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything but Niall. All he could see was Niall going limp in his arms, eyes rolling into the back of his head as the paramedics arrived, rushing inside the house. All Liam could see was the paramedics giving Niall CPR—the chest compressions, the mouth-to-mouth. All of it, so similar but so different from before.

Liam rode in the ambulance with Niall. The paramedics had managed to get his heart started again—thank god, without having to shock him—but Niall didn't wake up, just laid there, being jostled by the bumps in the rode as the ambulance sped to the hospital. Louis and Harry had been quick to jump into their car, following the ambulance the whole way, right on its ass.

Liam had a hold of Niall's hand tight enough that his own knuckles were turning white and Niall's fingers were turning red. He refused to let go, even when they arrived at the hospital and the paramedics were pushing Niall into the doors. Louis and Harry were already standing there, waiting for Liam. When he walked by, struggling against the doctors trying to keep him back, Louis reached forward and pulled him away, into a hug, burying his face into Liam's neck.

Liam struggled against Louis, too. "No, no, you don't understand! I need—Niall can't—he can't be in there by him—Please, let me go. I have to go—I need to be with him!"

"Li, calm down!" Louis pleaded, and for the first time since he'd left Louis' house, Liam looked at him, actually paid attention. Louis was sobbing, tears streaking his cheeks. His face was red and his lips were swollen, and his chest was heaving with the sobs that wracked his body. "Liam, please."

"I can't—" Liam shook his head. He felt bad, yeah, that he was leaving Louis like this, but he had to get to Niall—he just couldn't stay away. He practically ran to the doctor, almost in hysterics as he asked: "Please, just let me—I need to be with him. Please. Please."

The doctor held a hand up, looking over his shoulder into the room they'd put Niall in. The other nurses and doctors had been working on getting Niall hooked up to machines and IVs and all that lot that Liam had thought they were finished with. It broke Liam to stand there watching, but when the nurses were finished and Niall's heartbeat showed up on the heart monitor, he was allowed inside.

And so that brings us to the present. Liam sits by Niall's bedside, hand wrapped tightly around Niall's limp fingers. His eyes are red and swollen but he can't cry; he's all cried out, all out of tears. Niall's been unconscious for three days now, and Liam hopes this will all just end up like it did 13 years ago; Niall will wake up and they'll go back to being the happy-go-lucky, adorable couple. Liam will be able to propose like he wants to.

Niall will be awake for his 28th birthday.

Louis and Harry want to be there, for Liam and for Niall, but they can't; they've both got work and they can't afford to lose their jobs, so that leaves Liam here by himself, trying so hard to keep it together, to keep from losing it.

He'll wake up, he tells himself over and over again like maybe that'll make it happen. He doesn't leave Niall's side once, not even to go get anything to eat or to use the restroom, too afraid that Niall will end up flat lining on him for good.

Louis comes by at around 2:30, having managed to get off work early. He looks wrecked, and Liam wonders if Louis will break soon, if he'll admit that Niall means more to him than they all knew, but he doesn't say anything. He knows better than that.

"Haz says he'll be around four," Louis says as he sits down in the chair on the other side of Niall's bed. His eyes flicker from Niall's face, to his and Liam's hands, and finally to Liam's face.

"Look, I know you don't need to hear this, but I—Niall will—He's gonna pull through. He has to." Louis' brows furrow after he says this and Liam knows that Louis doesn't even believe that himself. They all know there's only so many times someone's heart can stop before they can't get back up again.

Liam prays to whatever God is up there that Niall gets up again, please, please, please.

Liam doesn't say anything; simply nods his head and continues to stare at Niall's face. The blonde looks so peaceful, while Liam feels about ready to just explode, unable to handle this again.

"Tomorrow's his birthday, Lou," Liam says, even though he knows that Louis knows this. "I keep hoping that he wakes up so we can have him for his birthday, y'know? I just—" His voice cracks and he has to stop before he cries or goes on a rampage or—something.

Louis is quiet; he doesn't know what to say at a time like this, for a situation like this. He's never been good at this sort of thing, so he just remains silent.

So that's how they are until Harry gets off work. He's more collected than Louis, looking not as lost but still so fucking worried.

"He still not awake?"

"No." Liam's voice sounds strange, almost funny, but none of them laugh. Harry sits beside Louis, looking at Liam's hands.

"Cutting off his circulation, don't you think?" he jokes, but Liam doesn't loosen his grip and harry doesn't expect him to.

Niall doesn't wake up on his birthday. He doesn't wake up period. His heart stops again, and he flat lines for so long that they all know he's gone even though the doctors bring him back. The know even before the doctor tells them that Niall's brain went too long without oxygen, and this time he isn't coming back, boys.

Liam can't accept it, though. Even when Louis and Harry tell him that Niall doesn't deserve this—doesn't deserve to spend the rest of his life hooked up to a machine that's the only thing keeping him alive.

"So you want me to just pull the plug? Is that it? You want me to just let him go, just like that?" Liam is angry, not at them and not at Niall of course, but just at their situation, really. It isn't fair. He's gone through this four times already! Why?!

"You know we don't want you to," Harry says, and Liam realizes that he's in tears, "but we all know that Niall deserves better than this. Come on, Liam."

And Liam really can't argue with that.

"Li," Louis' voice is so different from Harry's, Liam notices, "would you live for him?" He's being serious and Liam really wishes he had some tears right now because this pain in his chest is too much.

He doesn't answer because he really doesn't know how to tell him the truth—that no, he won't. He can't. He can't live without Niall. But Louis reads him like an open book and he looks angry, but most of all hurt.

"You selfish bastard," he swears under his breath, and Liam fears Louis might hit him or something. But Louis hugs him instead, tight and desperate, and somehow Harry ends up in there and Liam doesn't know if Harry even knows what's being hinted, and then they're all crying.

"I won't even be able to hate you if you do," Louis whispers so that only Liam can hear, and Liam knows that that's Louis' way of forgiving him.

But even so, Liam still can't let go of Niall. He sits by Niall, listening to the heart monitor and ventilator until he slowly realizes that they're right, that Niall doesn't deserve to live like this. It hurts so fucking much when Liam agrees to allow the doctors to pull the plug. Louis and Harry stand out in the hall crying because they can't be in there when Niall dies, they just can't; and Liam keeps a hold of Niall's hand even as he flat lines for the last time. The ring seems so much louder this time, and it hurts a lot more than Liam thinks it should when Niall just remains limp, looking like he's still just unconscious and there's still a chance that he'll wake up.

It hurts when everyone at the funeral tells him how sorry they are. It hurts when Maura breaks down during the middle of the service, clinging to Louis like he's her only lifeline.

It hurts when Liam sees Niall's casket lowered into ground, knowing that Niall's inside and won't be able to get out. It hurts when he looks at his gravestone for a long time.

_Niall James Horan _  
_13 September 1993—20 September 2021_  
_The best son a mother could ask for_  
_A better friend than we could have hoped for_  
_A loving, devoted partner_  
_Forever young, forever beautiful_

It hurts when Louis breaks down for Liam since Liam simply can't cry anymore, can't handle anymore tears and sobs. It hurts when Louis clings to him afterward, mumbling into his neck all these apologies, promises, swears of _We'll see you again someday. Keep Niall some company, yeah? Fuck, we love you, Li. We love you both. Why—No. I—_

Surprisingly, it doesn't hurt at all when Liam slits both wrists deep and long and closes his eyes as the blood flows.

Liam and Niall have always been together. And now they always will be.

_**FIN**_

* * *

_**End note: **I copied and pasted this from my ao3 account and it looks like the italics from the original document are all gone now and I don't feel like going through and fixing it, so if something doesn't make sense because it's missing the emphasis it needs, my bad. I hope you all liked it, and to the " police": come and get me. _

_-J. Riley _


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